Proverbs 31 / Mynde Sousa

Mynde Sousa

Deacon's Wife / Nursery Worker

Choir Member / Sunday School Teacher

Hopewell Baptist Church

Napa, CA

I have been saved for over 20 years, so how many times have I read Proverbs 31? But God always has something for you when you need it, especially in my marriage. Proverbs 31:11 “The HEART of her husband doth SAFELY TRUST in her, so that he shall have no NEED of spoil”.

I have been married to my husband for 28 years as of August, 2018. And you would think by now I would know everything about marriage, right? Not even close. So when God made this verse stand out to me I was ready to hear what He had to say! I took the words that are underlined and looked them up in my 1835 dictionary to see how my actions affect not only my husband but others.

* Heart – the seat of affections or passions, as of love, joy, grief, enmity, courage, and pleasure, etc.

* Safely - without injury.

* Trust – confidence; reliance or resting of the mind on the integrity, veracity, justice, friendship or other sound principle of another person.

* Need – want; occasion for something; necessity; a state that requires supply or relief. It sometimes expresses urgent want; pressing exigency (pressing business, immediate help).

After reading these definitions, God gave me a couple places where I needed to see why these definitions were so important.

The Finances:

God wants to safely trust you with your money. When we have control of our money, then we will have no need of spoil. If you are not good with money, get someone to help you with your finances. Do not pretend you are good at money management; you will only cause

financial and stress. I used to struggle a lot with money management, I was the one who would use the debit card and forget to give my husband the receipt. He would go to pay bills thinking we had enough money to pay bills and then oops, overdrawn. One day my husband showed up after work and took me to the bank, we opened my own checking account. It was the best decision he could have ever made. Now if I make a mistake I am not hurting him, but I am getting better!!! My husband has helped numerous people getting a budget together and paying for bills!

If you are good with money find a way to make a budget you can work with. I know of a couple where she started the envelope budget for her husband. Each pay check they put so much in an envelope that he can spend for certain things. Once the money is gone he has to wait for the next pay check.

Children:

The heart of our children will safely trust in us, so that they will have no need of spoil. When you have your child’s heart they will not have need of spoil. Sometimes we try to get to our children’s heart by being their friend or buying them something they want. We are not to be our child’s friend but parent, but our children MUST trust us to know what is best for them. What is a spoil? Cell phone, certain friend, or the opposite sex. I have a friend that has a teenage boy, he is the only one in his youth department that does NOT have a cell phone. I asked her how her son is dealing with all the other teens making fun of him. She told me that when he asked if he could have a cell phone, they told him that they (mom and dad) didn’t think was a good idea. His response?

Ok! They have his heart, because his trusts his parents to know what is best for him right now. He has no need of spoil!

How do we get our children’s trust? Build a relationship by putting out expectations that they can reach. I know that children can meet your expectations. Now you’re saying, Mynde, really my two year old will meet my expectations?! Well, ok when children are young you must constantly remind them of your expectations. But you keep your expectations in from of them! For example, “Steven can you please make sure your toys are picked up before you come to dinner?” “Ashley, please make sure your clothes are picked up before you go to bed.”

Our children really want to please us, so praise when they do good, no matter how small!!!