Mrs Laurie Loveless
Pastor's Wife
Harvest Baptist Church
Bloomsdale, MO
KEEPING THE ROMANCE ALIVE
Good Morning!! I don’t know most of you but I bet I can name one thing we all have in common! We are busy!!! However, even in our busyness we have a priority list which is unconditional. In other words, no matter how busy we are there are “things” that God expects us to keep in proper perspective without excuse. The first one is our relationship with Him. If we keep that in order, He will help us with the other priorities in our life.
Today, though, I want to talk about our part in our second priority. What is it that God wants us to be working on-humanly speaking above all other “things”??? It is our relationship with our husband. Genesis 2:18 tells us that God made a help meet for Adam. That means he made a helper suitable for Adam. Ladies, we are the helper suitable for our husbands. We have a job that no one else on this earth is designed to do! I Corinthians 11:9 says the man was not created for the woman but the woman for the man.
About 8 years ago, I listened to a message on an old cassette tape. The message was given by a husband and wife to an audience of couples. The message was soooooo convicting but sooooo good!! Ever since that time I have not been able to find that tape anywhere even though I have looked high and low!!! Sadly, I don’t even know the names of the couple to give them credit.
In this message, they gave 23 excellent points that I am going to share with you today from my notes on that message. As you read them, pray over them, ask the Lord to show you what you need to work on. Share them with your husband, talk about them together. Maybe you aren’t married yet, these are still appropriate to tuck away for the future. Maybe you are an older single person for whatever reason, you can help a married lady keep her marriage a priority by offering to babysit, making a meal: whatever, the Lord will give you ideas if you ask Him.
The point of this couple’s message was KEEPING THE ROMANCE ALIVE. Their motto was “Lovers Always”. Satan wants our marriage to cool and decline. God DOES NOT. Take the time to read Ecclesiastes 9:9. Ladies, we have the responsibility to see that living with us is joyful and not a drudgery.
1. Remember, love looks beyond the flaws and weaknesses and sees the beauty and strength. Daily we have a choice; we can concentrate on the things that irritate and frustrate or we can forgive and concentrate on the positive qualities.
Today, though, I want to talk about our part in our second priority. What is it that God wants us to be working on-humanly speaking above all other “things”??? It is our relationship with our husband. Genesis 2:18 tells us that God made a help meet for Adam. That means he made a helper suitable for Adam. Ladies, we are the helper suitable for our husbands. We have a job that no one else on this earth is designed to do! I Corinthians 11:9 says the man was not created for the woman but the woman for the man.
About 8 years ago, I listened to a message on an old cassette tape. The message was given by a husband and wife to an audience of couples. The message was soooooo convicting but sooooo good!! Ever since that time I have not been able to find that tape anywhere even though I have looked high and low!!! Sadly, I don’t even know the names of the couple to give them credit.
In this message, they gave 23 excellent points that I am going to share with you today from my notes on that message. As you read them, pray over them, ask the Lord to show you what you need to work on. Share them with your husband, talk about them together. Maybe you aren’t married yet, these are still appropriate to tuck away for the future. Maybe you are an older single person for whatever reason, you can help a married lady keep her marriage a priority by offering to babysit, making a meal: whatever, the Lord will give you ideas if you ask Him.
The point of this couple’s message was KEEPING THE ROMANCE ALIVE. Their motto was “Lovers Always”. Satan wants our marriage to cool and decline. God DOES NOT. Take the time to read Ecclesiastes 9:9. Ladies, we have the responsibility to see that living with us is joyful and not a drudgery.
1. Remember, love looks beyond the flaws and weaknesses and sees the beauty and strength. Daily we have a choice; we can concentrate on the things that irritate and frustrate or we can forgive and concentrate on the positive qualities.
2. Remember, men and women’s brains are wired differently. Men operate specifically; their brain hemispheres work independently of each other so that they can focus on one thing at a time. Women, on the other hand, operate holistically using both hemispheres at the same time. We tend to be tuned into all that is happening. This enables us to notice people and their feelings and what is going on everywhere. However, the down side to this is that little things rise-up as mountains for the wife.
3. Think attentively about the needs of your spouse. Genesis 2:18; Ephesians 5:22-33 Bill Rice said he never wanted to stop courting his wife. He also said, “I don’t want a cornbread and beans existence; I want to make our marriage a continual banquet.” (Keep in mind a beautiful banquet takes a lot of hard work and prayer to make it happen whereas a cornbread and beans meal is easy.) Titus 2:4 We should have “sweetheart” love all our lives.
4. Communicate constantly. Ephesians 4:25-32
5. Listen Actively. James 1:19. It is not pleasant to talk to someone who is only half listening.
6. Be improving constantly. This helps us to avoid being the haggard housewife. Work on your words-Proverbs 16:21 & 24, 21:19, 27:15; Use basic self-discipline. I Corinthians 9:27; Overcome
annoying habits and weaknesses. James 4:17 & Keep yourself in a pretty package. Proverbs 31:22.
annoying habits and weaknesses. James 4:17 & Keep yourself in a pretty package. Proverbs 31:22.
7. Rest & Exercise sufficiently
8. Anticipate eagerly. Look forward to being together. Martin Luther said, “Let the wife make the husband glad to come home and let him make her sorry to see him go.”
9. Give willingly, unselfishly. Philippians 2:4 Ourselves, time, attention, approval, interests, affection, compliments
10. Plan cooperatively. Mesh your schedules.
11. Treat graciously. Proverbs 31:26
12. Adore openly with sincere admiration. Ephesians 5:33. Our men hunger for our sincere admiration; we need to respect his personality and his talent. We need to make “goo goo” eyes at him.
13. Touch tenderly. I Corinthians 7:3-4; Proverbs 5:19; 31:11-12
14. Share intimately. The previous points verses plus Hebrews 13:4
15. Apologize quickly. Ephesians 4:26-27
16. Compliment sincerely. Matthew 7:12
17. Brighten visibly. Matthew 7:12. Light up when he comes into the room; be sparkling. These are traits that will be like magnets drawing your husband to you. Make your whole personality brighten—your expression, your eyes, your smile. He will be attracted or repelled by your countenance.
18. Laugh jointly. Ecclesiastes 9:9; Proverbs 15:13 & 15; 17:22. Understand his need to relax, laugh and play. He needs his wife to tease and play, who will be a little silly.
19. Remember Happily the special times. This means we should take every opportunity to make memories!!
20. Appreciate verbally.
21. Demonstrate imaginatively. Notes, special meals, favors….
22. Prepare creatively. Give attention to the atmosphere. Breaking up the daily routine of marriage with periodic surprises. Creatively giving thought to what you can do to add spice!!
23. Encourage positively. This is different from praise. This says, “I believe in you.” “I love being with you. “ “I am so proud of you.” “I am behind you.”
I know this is A LOT!! May I suggest, pick something you need to work on and start there. Baby steps. Don’t give up. Keep trying. The rewards will be well worth it.
And I close with this: Mamie Eisenhower, the wife of former President Dwight D. Eisenhower is quoted as proudly proclaiming, “Ike was my career.” Now, I don’t know if she was a Christian but what a God honoring statement for those of us who are saved to be able to proclaim, but not only to proclaim, but also, to live that our husband IS our career. As wives, we are on assignment from God!!
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