Mrs Charissa Andrews
Pastor's Wife
Amazing Grace Baptist Church
O'Fallon, MO
"Welcome to Holland"
I'm sure most of you, if not all, have already read this little allegory. But I ask you to read it again.
c1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley. All rights reserved
I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......
When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.
After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."
"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."
But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.
The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.
So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.
It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.
But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."
And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.
But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.
I recently took a trip to Holland with my very dear friend. We're still here, in Holland. We are still attempting to find our footing and gather our wits. The wind still feels like it has been knocked out of us on some days. We are having to learn and use words we never had to before. The scenery is completely different than what we are used to. Sound familiar? It's not the first time I've taken a trip to Holland. It probably won't be the last time, either. As a matter of fact, I believe we have all been to Holland. Each and every one of us. Oh, maybe not specifically with a child that has special needs. Perhaps your Holland was losing a spouse at a much too early age. It could have been a medical diagnosis: epilepsy, autism, diabetes, heart disease,maybe the big 'C' word. It could be that your Holland journey started when your church went through a horrific split. Your Holland could have come by way of false accusations. I know several ladies that have found themselves in Holland because of a child rebelling and running from the Lord. You know the feeling. You shake your head in disbelief, look around and wonder, “How did this happen? This must just be a bad dream. This isn't the way we planned.”
When you find yourself in Holland, here are some things to remember.
Allow yourself some time to grieve. It is completely normal and human to grieve what feels like broken dreams. It doesn't make you less spiritual. It doesn't mean you don't have enough faith. It doesn't mean you don't trust God and His wisdom. It means you are human. Psalm 61:2 “From the end of the earth will I cry unto thee, when my heart is overwhelmed: lead me to the rock that is higher than I.”
Journal, journal, journal. God is going to teach you things about yourself, life, others, Himself...things that you will never ever be able to learn anywhere else. Not in Italy, Germany, France or even Hawaii. You are never, ever in Holland “just because”. There is always a purpose for everything that God does or allows. There are other wives, husbands, teens, pastor's wives, best friends, single moms, and children out there that will need what you have learned. Keeping a journal also helps you to see and recognize the milestones, the victories, and the miracles that will happen during your stay in Holland. So often we write our hurts in cement, we don't forget about them easily. Yet we tend to write the miracles and the blessings in the sand. Use a journal to be a shining testimony of God's faithfulness.
Find you a promise!!!
Every promise in the Book is mine
Every chapter, every verse and every line
All are blessings of His love devine
Every promise of the Book is mine!!
God's Word is full of promises. Promises that sustain, that give hope, that give life, that will carry you through. I have read that there are over 365 promises in the Bible. That is enough for a new promise every single day. I think sometimes we can't claim God's wonderful promises simply because we don't know about them. My promise verse this year is Romans 15:13 “Now the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that ye may abound in hope, through the power of the Holy Ghost”.
Determine to find beauty in Holland. It's not the place you expected, or even wanted, to end up. It's not what you dreamed about. But if you'll look, if you'll purposely take the time to search for it...you'll find that there is beauty to be enjoyed even in Holland.
Ask God to show you His love while you are in Holland. Every. Single. Day. Satan is a master deceiver. He is oh so good at his job. He will try to convince you that since you're in Holland, God might not love you. I remember during one of my Holland trips I would beg God to show me His love every day using one of my 5 senses. He was so full of grace and would remind me clearly every day that His love hadn't changed. Psalms 143:8 “Cause me to hear thy lovingkindness in the morning; for in thee do I trust: cause me to know the way wherein I should walk; for I lift up my soul unto thee.”
Lastly, remember that Holland is not an eternal destination. You don't stay in Holland forever. The Master Potter works on the clay, chipping away parts of our lives so that He can shape us into the image of His Son. Sometimes the chipping and molding and reshaping hurts. Badly. But for the child of God, every storm...every Holland, always comes to pass. The words “come to pass” are found over 200 times in God's Word.
Of all the times I've been to Holland, I never would have volunteered to go. I wouldn't have chosen it. But of the ways my Saviour loved on me, and sheltered me, and allowed me to know Him in such a special way...I wouldn't trade those Holland visits for anything in the world.
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