Trust God / Mrs Amy Sapp

 

Trust God

Mrs Amy Sapp

O'Fallon, MO

 

Many of you know I tested positive for the "BRCA1" mutant gene.  My latest update...  Yesterday I went to meet with my new OBGYN that will be performing my Hysterectomy.  As I sat in the waiting room I started feeling down.  I am just beginning this "new" journey.  This is my "new" life.  In and out of doctors frequently, downing vitamins like it is nobody's business.  Seems like the days that I have doctor visits are the hardest days on my spirit.  As my husband and I sat and spoke with the doctor.  He explained to us, that the abnormal spot on my left ovary, if it is still there when I go to have my next ultrasound done, that ovary may have to be removed.  I cannot have a hysterectomy until age 40.  I have 2 doctor appointments next week.  My husband is great, but honestly sometimes I think this is harder on him than it is on me.  He has a hard time comprehending a lot of it. 

I am keeping a journal, writing different things down, different dates, just so I have a record of things that are going on.  At the end of each entry, I write the words "Trust God".  God has a reason for allowing things to happen...  We may never understand His wisdom but we simply have to trust His will.  Over the past few weeks, I have been trying to adjust to my "new normal".

There are several goals that the Lord has given me.  There are things that He has laid on my heart, there are things that I know He wants me to accomplish.  And as I think my life is changing and in a matter of speaking it is.  Lots of ups and downs, lots of emotions.  Those goals that the Lord has put in my heart, they remain.  The fact is that when the Lord established those goals for me, HE already knew my "journey".  HE already knew the direction that my life was headed.  So as I go through this "journey" I will still keep on pressing forward trying to accomplish the things the Lord would have me to accomplish.  And along the way, I know I am going to have down days....  But I will never let those down days steal my JOY.  Not ever...

Yesterday, I was asked if I could choose someone else to carry this gene instead of me, would I?  Absolutely not.  This is what the Lord has for me.  I am praying that the Lord will use this situation in my life to be a help to others.  This is not exactly the plan I was expecting, nor was it the plan that I chose.  But it is God's Plan, it was from the very beginning.  I am here for the long haul.  My God is so BIG so STRONG and so MIGHTY!!  Trust God, always always always Trust God.