My Pledge to My H.U.S.B.A.N.D. / Mrs Linda Brown

Mrs Linda Brown 

Pastor's Wife

 Central Baptist Church 

Decatur, IL

1976-2018 

My Pledge to My H.U.S.B.A.N.D.

On August 22, 2018, my husband and I celebrated our 49th wedding anniversary! I dearly loved my husband on the day we were wed. However, I have grown to love him so much more and in so many more ways! To be a more godly wife, I have followed my mother’s example and God’s direction given in His Word, the Holy Bible. Yes, I have faltered many times, but I have sought God’s help and direction so that I could be the wife my husband needs and deserves. I would like to share several things I have focused on through these 49 years to be that Proverbs 31 Woman. The word “husband” will be used as an acrostic whereby each letter will stand for an important area of focus.

The H in husband stands for honor. Two verses that have guided me in this area are: Proverbs 31:26: “She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.” Philippians 2:14: “Do all things without murmurings and disputings;” I have tried to use appropriate speech with my husband. For example, I have never ordered or made demands upon my husband. Questioning and suggestions were made instead. In public, my speech was never demeaning, correcting, or usurping authority over him, but it was one of admiration and respect. If I disagreed, I kept my mouth closed and refrained from adding my own opinion. In regard to his family, I have never been rude or mean to them. Even if I disagreed, I took the matter privately to my husband. We have never had arguments; yes, we have had disagreements privately I did not complain about his schedule while serving the Lord. You see, I wanted my children to grow up loving the Lord and having a desire to serve Him, also! When my husband would arrive home, I did not meet him at the door with all of the problems of the day and negative children’s behavior. My desire was for my husband to LOVE coming home and for my children to look forward to spending time with their father.

The U in husband stands for unified. Ephesians 5:31: “For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.” Amos 3:3: “Can two walk together except they be agreed?” Mark 3:25: “And if a house be divided against itself, that house cannot stand.” The word unified means to become united or whole. God made Eve to be an help meet to Adam. They became one flesh. Your husband left his father and mother to cleave to you, his wife. What does becoming one mean? You and your husband are so united that you appear to be one. Therefore, you should treat him as you would treat yourself. You would not hurt your own flesh. Therefore, you should be kind and considerate and only do him good. His body is yours and your body is his. You don’t withhold yourself from him, and he should not withhold himself from you. You both, as parents, agree and stay united in regard to the children’s lives and decisions to be made regarding their welfare. It is as if there is only one person with one body, one heart, one mind, and one speech. When you are united and following the Lord, blessings will result in a stronger marriage

The S in husband stands for submission / subjection. Ephesians 5:22: “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.” I Peter 3:1: “Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands;…” Submit means to yield, accept, consent, or to comply. It is the action or fact of accepting or yielding to a superior force or to the will or authority of another person. God’s word tells us that we ARE to be in subjection to our own husbands! The fact is, when we refuse to submit to our own husbands, we are refusing to submit to God’s word, the Bible! Therefore, we are being rebellious and a negative role model to our children, family, friends, Christians, and the lost world. Why don’t we submit? Could it be our pride? Perhaps you have more education, knowledge regarding subject matter, a higher job description, or you receive more salary. Perhaps, the devil has reminded you of these areas justifying your right to speak up or take the lead. Women can speak three times as many words as a man in one day! We definitely can out speak them. What about emotions? We have them beat there, also! We can definitely become drama queens describing our day or job description. Our husband wants to solve the problem. We really don’t want that; we just want sympathy! Our emotions often get in the way of us thinking correctly! Do I need to remind you that Eve wasn’t thinking correctly or following God when she listened to the serpent and ate of the fruit? Remember, Sarah wasn’t thinking correctly when she gave her handmaid to Abraham, and Ishmael was born. Perhaps, we just need to think of submission differently! Submission actually is a blessing and a protection from the Lord! Wave the white flag, ladies! Submission is an act of obedience and a safe place to be.

The B in husband stands for basic needs. Proverbs 31:1: “The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.” Hebrews 13:4: “Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled:…” The basic needs that should be met by you are: physical, mental, and intimate. Physical needs include: meals, clothing, care of the house, care for the children, spending time with him at home, and doing things together. Mental needs include: his trust in you, your faithfulness, your actions regarding appropriate dress / speech / and behavior both in and out of his presence, quality Biblical teaching and training of your children, appropriate behavior in regard to needs and finances, and a wise steward in all personal areas. Intimate needs include: loving, kissing, and sexual behavior. You should desire to have a special relationship that is a godly one. We are not to withhold ourselves from our husband. Go to bed with your husband, turn the phone off, and lock the door. Our focus, as a wife, should be meeting our husband’s basic physical, mental, and emotional needs

The A in husband stands for attitude. I Timothy 6:6: “But godliness with contentment is great gain.” Proverbs 21:19: “It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman.” Attitude is a settled way of thinking or feeling about someone or something, typically one that is reflective in a person’s behavior. We can usually detect a person’s attitude by their behavior. When someone refuses to follow directions, we would say that they have a rebellious attitude. On the other hand, when someone sends a get-well card, we would say that they have a caring attitude. God tells us how a man feels when a woman has negative, nagging, or a complaining attitude; our husband would rather be in the wilderness than with us. Living and working in the world often result in negative attitudes and behavior. Let’s face it, dealing with the public can be very difficult whether it is in school, the work place, store, or at church. Today, women have many jobs: raising the children, teaching home-school, cleaning, washing, cooking, shopping, church attendance, ministries, and possibly a job to

provide extra income for the household operations. There seems to be never enough time to complete these jobs satisfactorily. Because of this, it is easy to become distraught and begin to have a negative attitude and complain to our husbands and children. Being content with the progress made at home will help us to have a more positive attitude as well as enlisting the help of both our children and husband. A positive attitude results when we: have faith in our husband’s decisions and leadership, accept situations and circumstances regarding schedules of school, church, and occupations, and we have a prayerful attitude regarding health and related family concerns. Learn to shrug off problems, laugh at mistakes, don’t take everything so seriously, and pray to the Lord for the grace to have a more positive attitude.

The N in husband stands for nurse. Proverbs 14:1: “Every wise woman buildeth her house;…” Job 2:9: “Then said his wife unto him, dost thou still retain thine integrity? Curse God, and die.” Yes, you are to be your husband’s private nurse! A nurse is to give medical and other attention to another person. It is a trained person to care for the sick or infirmed. You, through the Bible, have been received instructions and training on how to care for the needs of others. Who is more important than your husband?! The first area is one of mental and physical care. You are his cheerleader; you should brag on his muscles, handsome physique, intelligence, superior provisions for the family, and excellent leadership capabilities! Your job is also to encourage him when he is personally attacked whether it be at work, in the community, or even in the church. Nurse him so that discouragement and depression don’t set in. Perhaps, he will have a genuine health concern. Nurse him back to health with prayer, personal attention, nourishment, alternative supplements, and doctor appointments. Men are notorious for putting themselves last and neglecting to make doctor appointments. Another area of nursing is that of a spiritual one. We need to be a positive encourager instead of a negative nurse as was Job’s wife. Pray for your husband daily as you care for his personal and spiritual needs! Purpose to be led by the Holy Spirit and not the flesh during difficult times.

The D in husband stands for delight. Proverbs 27:1: “Boast not thyself of tomorrow; for thou knowest not what a day may bring forth.” I Peter 5:8: “Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour:” Delight means great pleasure; synonyms are charm, enchant, captivate, entrance, thrill, happiness, and joy. The ring on the fourth finger of your left hand symbolizes the love and commitment you made to your husband on your wedding day. Let me remind you: “ I, ______, take thee, _____, to be my wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part, according to God’s holy ordinance; and thereto I pledge thee my faith.” Pledge means a solemn promise! It is one to be taken seriously!! You pledged to love and cherish your husband regardless of the situation for the rest of your life here on earth! Remember, the devil would love to detour you as he has with many by way of divorce! We can’t do that; we made a promise. Today, purpose in your heart to delight in your husband. Appreciate him, love him, care for him, give him gifts, prepare his favorite meals, dedicate yourself to him, enjoy him, and delight in him!

Three years ago this past March, I was diagnosed with non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma cancer. Reality hit; this cancer is treatable but not curable. Yes, I am in remission. However, I have no promise of the future here on earth. Wait, you don’t either. James 4:14: “Whereas ye know not what shall be on the

morrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away.” I purposed in my heart, once again, to be that Proverbs 31 woman and wife to my husband. Next August 22, 2019, my husband and I will celebrate our 50th wedding anniversary! This is the golden anniversary! Whether here on earth or in Heaven, I will be having a golden celebration. Here on earth, I will be able to celebrate with my husband and love of my life. In Heaven, I will be able to celebrate with my Lord and Saviour and walk on those streets of gold. You see, my two cancer buddies, Emma Burchard and Kelly Moncofsky, are there waiting for me. Either way, August 22, 2019 will be a golden celebration!!!

May I encourage you to keep that solemn pledge you made to your husband on the day you wed? You will keep your pledge to your husband if you do the following: show him Honor, become United, Submit to his authority, supply his Basic needs, have a positive Attitude, become his 24 hour around-the-clock Nurse, and Delight in him daily, while you have the time!