Happy New Year's!!! / Mrs Duska Lovelace

Mrs Duska Lovelace

Pastor's Wife

Truth Baptist Church

Jefferson, Maine

Yesterday was the day that most of us began the goals we set this new year or as some may call them resolutions. Some of us may have set goals to do more exercising, reading, spending time with loved ones, quit a bad habits, etc. A few years back the Lord really spoke to my heart about the changes I was making. I would always make my decisions on what would make me feel good, instead of making decisions based on what God would want me to change. I began asking Him what changes I could make that focused on Him, areas in which I failed in the past year and could do better. Making the changes when God is the one who showed you makes it that much sweeter.

“Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God.” I Corinthians 10:31

Every year as I seek the Lord there are a few verses that give the perfect prayer in asking God to show me areas in my life that I need to change and make better. As Pastor’s Wives I know we wear many hats and it can get overwhelming, after all, more hats, mean more areas that need work.

I love these verses:

“Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: and see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way of everlasting.” Psalm 139: 23-24

“Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.” Psalm 51:10

While reading these verses, was there anything that stood out specifically? There was to me and I know as each of you read them it maybe something different, but for me this year it was the word, “heart.” Have you ever thought of the importance of the heart? It is the organ that is monitored to determine life or death, it is the first major organ that forms and works in a baby, if anything is wrong with the heart it causes issues to other areas and makes them not function properly, it is where we ask Jesus to live and dwell when we are saved, just to name a few. The Bible speaks about the heart in many areas and tells us exactly what to watch for and how to keep it.

Here are a few ways that God is leading me to change my heart this year to make it more like Him.

H- Keep a Healthy Heart-

“A merry heart doth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones.” Proverbs 17:22

“A merry heart taketh a cheerful countenance: but by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken.” Proverbs 15:13

“All the days of the afflicted are evil: but he that is of a merry heart hath a continual feast.” Proverbs 15:15

Having a healthy heart is a vital part to our walk as christians. I know we all have different circumstances, but no matter what we can work toward having a merry heart. I know it sounds easier on paper and sometimes keeping a merry heart can be challenging, but staying away from negativity, gossip, studying the Word, praying and becoming closer to God will be what makes a merry heart, merry. Counting our blessing and remembering all that God has done for us, is an easy way to get started.

E- Exercise your heart daily-

“Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.” Proverbs 4:23

To keep a healthy heart we must exercise it daily. For our physical needs we need to keep it healthy, when our heart doesn’t function properly or isn’t healthy it causes many other problems in our body. Same things pertain to our spiritual needs. We need to keep it diligent by studying the Word of God, memorizing scriptures and praying. When our heart is exercised properly and is healthy, well nourished and close to God our issues are easier to handle and the outcome is much more rewarding.

A- “All In” Heart-

“Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.” Proverbs 3:5-6

If you have been in the ministry for any length of time, then you know how important it is to go ALL IN. There are so many areas in our lives that we need to give to God and trust Him with. Our husbands, children, ministry, friendships, family, finances and health are just a few. It can be overwhelming, but when we trust Him with all of our hearts, recognize who He is and not try to do it all on our own, He directs every step. “God not only read our story, He wrote it.” We trust Him with our salvation, we need to trust Him with every area of our life. We can’t do that if He doesn’t have all of our heart.

R- Retaining Heart-

“Bind them upon thy fingers, write them upon the table of thine heart.” Proverbs 7:3

Do you take time to memorize scripture? It is so important that we equip ourselves with God’s Word. The more scripture we have written in our hearts the better equipped and prepared we are to quote it when we are struggling or someone else is. It is so wonderful to be able to encourage yourself and others with scripture God has already given you to put into your heart. A great way to start is to memorize scripture with your children or grandchildren, I love it when my children can quote scripture and share their favorite verses with me and others.

T- Treasured Heart-

“For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.” Matthew 6:21

What are your treasures? As a little girl I inherited a Hope Chest, most of you may have one as well. As I grew up I placed special treasures in it that I wanted to save for when I got older, for times like when I got married. Some of those items still remain inside my Hope Chest. Why? Because they have meaning, because I wanted to keep them safe and because I wanted to remember and share these special things with others. People and things that we treasure we invest time in and make them feel important. Do you treasure your calling as a wife, mom, pastor’s wife and friend? They are all such important roles and the people we gain in our lives by having these roles need to be treasured. Now imagine your heart as your Hope Chest and take care of it by keeping it healthy, exercising it daily, having it “All In” and retaining God’s Word, by doing these thing it will allow you to have a Treasured Heart. I want to know God’s heart so I can have a heart like His and be more like Him.

In 2017 what do you want to change to be more like Him?

Present - Present / Mrs Faith Livingston

Mrs Faith Livingston

Pastor's Wife

Southside Baptist Church

Sarasota, FL

Yesterday was a wonderful celebration of Christ's birth with my church family and my own family. Giving gifts (and getting them!) is one of my favorite parts of Christmas. As my children were enthusiastically ripping into their gifts, I was reflecting on presents and all that goes into selecting them, buying them, wrapping them . . . I like word games, so I came up with an acrostic for the word present:

       Prepare - we find coupons, search stores to find the best deals. We gear up for a long day of shopping with comfortable clothes and shoes. We make a budget for how much we can spend on each person.

       Research - what does each person want? Or need? (My little son was obsessed with buying everyone underwear this year.) Do they have hobbies? Is there something sentimental they would appreciate? (My father gifted me a special coin that had belonged to my grandfather.)

       Enjoy the journey - If you're like me, the last few weeks have been incredibly busy. Trying to keep everything balanced at "regular" times of the year is tricky enough, but when you throw in holiday entertaining, gift-giving, decorating, and baking, it's even harder to take a moment to enjoy those moments that truly make Christmas special.

       Seek the best - We want to give our loved ones the best we can give them. The anticipation of seeing them unwrap that gift that we carefully selected and wrapped is so wonderful. We want to see their face light up with joy, or amusement, or nostalgia, or shock (if they were the recipient of one of my son's underwear gifts!).

        Nothing in return - Our purpose in giving these treasures to others is not what we get in return, but the joy we ourselves receive in the gift. (Unless maybe it was a blue elephant gift exchange!)

        Treasure the memories - What wonderful memories I have of this Christmas and of others now long passed. The blessing of loving others and being loved in return is what makes Christmas so special.

All right. So, you may now be wondering . . . Well, that was a lovely acrostic, but I was expecting to read a devotional. There was nothing spiritual there at all! Let's look at a familiar verse:

      I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living

      sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service.  Romans 12:1

In this verse, the word present isn't a noun, it's a verb, an action word! And the gift we're giving is ourselves. Let's look at the acrostic again:

          Prepare - I have to prepare myself as a sacrifice, Romans 12:2 says, by not conforming to this world. I have to transform my mind, my way of thinking, so that I am not swept into worldly patterns of thought, but instead filter my thoughts through God's Word. That's how I can prepare myself for God's will for my life.

           Research - What does God like? What does God hate? What would God approve of in my life, and what would make Him sad? If I am going to be the best present I can, I want to be exactly what He wants!

          Enjoy the journey - If you're involved in the ministry for any length of time, you know that this isn't always the easiest thing to do! God doesn't promise us that our road will always be easy. In fact, he told us that the world would hate us. But if you read John chapters 15 - 17, when Jesus is facing a death full of pain and heart-ache, he tells us seven times that we should be "full of joy". In John 13:17, Jesus tells us, "If he know these things, happy are ye if ye do them."  So the best way for us to enjoy our journey, even though it may be difficult, is to continue doing the will of God!

          Nothing in return - What do we get as a reward for presenting ourselves to God? An abundance of blessings! He doesn't operate like we do. If someone gives you a gift, and you don't have one for them in return, it can sometimes cause an awkwardness in your relationship. Not so with God! He doesn't cut deals with us, and His gifts come without expectation of a return. How could we possibly match the great gift He gave us? 

           Treasure the memories - What wonderful memories I have of the things God has done for me! My sins have been forgiven, my life is changed, my prayers have been answered, my needs have been met! God and I have seen some amazing times together! 

We celebrate this Christmas because God gave the gift of His most-loved Son. What a world-changing gift it was! The trinkets that we exchange have nothing on that most priceless gift ever given. We owe everything to that one greatest gift. So today, please consider the gift you are giving God in return. We give God the only gift we can "reasonably" give - ourselves. But in what kind of condition is your gift? Is it fine-tuned for His service, or does it need some adjustment to be a worthy gift in return for all God has given you?

A Walk Through Grief / Mrs JoBeth Hooker

 

Mrs JoBeth Hooker

Pastor's Wife

Calvary Baptist Church

Memphis, TN

A WALK THROUGH GRIEF                                                          

When people we know suddenly find themselves dealing with a terrible loss, especially that of someone they hold very dear to their hearts, we need to be kind, tender-hearted and compassionate. Our head knows this, but in an effort to be helpful, sometimes we can inadvertently cause more hurt. Following are some guidelines, a few do’s and don’ts if you please, to help others as they walk through grief. (This is not exhaustive, just some helps.) 

1. Let people grieve their way. Everybody grieves differently but everybody needs to be allowed to grieve. One may cry; another doesn’t. One may be weak; another may be strong. One may want to talk about it; another may not. That’s okay. Be sensitive to their need to grieve their way. 

2. Don’t expect them to “get over it.” Losses leave scars. When a person loses a spouse, for example, they become an instant amputee- they have lost a part of themselves. It is a slow and painful process to learn to walk again. And, the pain never goes away, it is just better managed with time. 

3. Be careful what you say and say as little as possible. Refrain from saying things like, “I understand. I lost my dog.” Or, “You are still young. You’ll marry again.” Or, “You can make more babies.” Or, “Well, all things work together for good.” Or, “Get to work; get busy; you’ll get over it.” Statements like these are usually said with good intentions. No one ever means to hurt those who are grieving, but too often we open our mouths and insert both feet. All these statements are probably true, but not what someone wants to hear when they’re hurting. Simply say compassionately, “I’m so sorry for your loss. Please know that we love you and are praying for you.” That’s enough said!  

4. Be a listening ear. Part of the healing process of grieving is found in the ability to talk about their loss, especially a loved one. Don’t get embarrassed or flustered, or worried about how to respond. Just smile, sit back and listen with active interest. That’s all they need.   

5. Give them their space. Don’t condemn them if they don’t want to come to church right away or put pressure on them to come. Facing people after a loss is one of the hardest things to do. I encourage them to come to church late and leave early; to hold their Bible and sleep with it even if they can’t open it and read it right away, and to look past people’s words and see their heart. 

6. But, don’t ignore them either! Don’t run the other way when you see them coming. Don’t hide from them or look away when you walk past them. They need to feel loved, cared about, missed and understood. Rather than talk, write a note. Send a card through the mail. Have flowers or food delivered to their home. Be involved in their life without ANY expectations on a return.  

7. Have no expectations on ANY kind of behavior. Don’t expect them to show up for choir, teach their Sunday school class, host the monthly fellowship or any of the other myriad things we do. Give them time! How long? Minimum of 6 months but most people need a year before they are close to being ready to move back into the mainstream of life; and, a minimum of 3 years to fully manage the pain. Be very careful not to hold people to their normal spiritual standard during an emotionally devastating time. Be patient and loving. 

8. When they do try to come around, realize that grief often comes in waves from a variety of triggers. When it hits, it is hard to maintain control of one’s emotions and this can be embarrassing for them. Assure the person that it is okay and maybe ask, “Would you like to talk about it,” “Could I get you a tissue,” or say, “It’s okay. You have been through a lot. I’ll step away and give you a few moments.” No one should feel ashamed for grieving a loss. 

9. Grief comes in a series of stages:  Shock (I’m not sure what just happened.); Numbness (I can’t believe this happened.); Questioning (Why did this happen?); Anger (This was unfair, unjust or wrong for God to let this happen!); Blame (This is all “so-and so’s” fault for causing this to happen! (or) It’s my fault this happened!); Depression/Self-Pity (Feel sorry for me because this happened.); Acceptance (I’m okay with what has happened.) Expect them to go through these stages. It’s a part of the process. 

10. It is also normal for them to feel like their head is floating away from their body. They may feel at times like they are emotionally going crazy. They may not be able to fall asleep at night or, they may struggle with horrible, frightening nightmares that won’t go away. All of this is normal. Help is available if these problems continue to get worse rather than better. 

If in doubt of what to do or say, just remember the Golden Rule from Matthew 7:12, Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets. 

God bless and hope you have a wonderful day!