Mrs Ellie DeAnda

 

Mrs Ellie DeAnda

Pastor's Wife

Iglesia Bauista Casa de Gracia

Chicago, IL

 

Have you ever faced a situation in life when you've had that anxious, worried feeling in the pit of your stomach? It just drains you, and no matter how hard you try not to think about it, it doesn't work, because your mind goes back to the situation and you start worrying again and you literally make yourself sick.  I think we have all faced times like these before.

This happened to me recently when my husband and I made a huge CHANGE in our lives...we left the ministry we served at for 14 years and started a church in Chicago. This change started over a year ago when my husband confided in me that God was calling him to start a church. At first, I didn't understand why God was calling us away from where we were, after all, we were doing just fine, I was comfortable! We had everything anyone could dream of, a congregation that loved us, great building/office accommodations, bus routes, organized ladies meetings, addiction programs, we were financially taken care of, even our children's Christian school bill was paid, etc. All that to say, I was anxious about the change and literally made myself sick. I couldn't make peace with this uncertainty, after all, we didn't even have a building to start this church in. I was about to leave all I had ever known and all my children had ever known, and I wasn't going to do it without a fight! I was determined to somehow convince my husband and God that we should stay!  I mean, afterall, I had some questions and doubts!  Well, after spending a good time worrying about this CHANGE that I knew was in my near future, I stopped and analyzed myself...I was living anxious, confused, & frustrated and I was tired of it! I was done worrying and done with trying to figure everything out on my own! I decided to give all my worry to the Lord. I honestly told the Lord one hot Sunday afternoon this summer while sitting on my backyard deck, "I trust YOU and I choose to trust my husband's godly leadership!!"  One thing I will never forget, though, was the anxiety I had as I would go to sleep each night and was reminded of as I woke up each morning, before I finally decided to trust all my worry to HIM! Girlfriend, I realize your situation may be totally different than mine was, maybe:

You or your husband are going through some financial issues and you don't know how you will make it financially.

You might be worried about your health or the health of someone you love dearly and are scared to death about what the future holds.

You might be worried about your children or your backslidden teenager.

You may be in a difficult marriage and you don't know what to do....

Maybe you have been hurt deeply by a close friend or family member or have been betrayed by someone close to you.

Maybe your church is going through a tough time....

I don't know what it may be, but it's that anxious, sick feeling that lays heavy on your heart! 

I love what David penned in Psalms 40, "I waited patiently for the LORD; and he inclined unto me, and heard my cry. He brought me up also out of an horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my goings. And he hath put a new song in my mouth, even praise unto our God: many shall see it, and fear, and shall trust in the LORD. Blessed is that man that maketh the LORD his trust, and respecteth not the proud, nor such as turn aside to lies. Many, O LORD my God, are thy wonderful works which thou hast done, and thy thoughts which are to us-ward: they cannot be reckoned up in order unto thee: if I would declare and speak of them, they are more than can be numbered."

The Bible promises us in Psalms 40 that when we feel uneasy, anxious, when uncertainty sets in, if we trust God, He will set our feet on a rock. We will no longer have to feel like we are overwhelmed with our worries or problems. We can stand on the firm foundation of God, even when we don't know what the future holds, as long as we trust Him we will no longer feel weak & anxious from worrying and trying to work everything out on our own! We can stand firm/confident on a solid foundation of trusting Him, and believe me, I know my trust in Him is so totally imperfect, but He still continues to be my solid Rock, spite my weakness- He is absolutely unmovable and unchanging, He knows me! HE probably has a special nickname for me, like Nervous Nelly, instead of Ellie, hehehe!! Girlfriend, we CAN and should rely on Him! When you walk through life unsure of what lies ahead, remember that He is your Rock and ALWAYS provides a stable place for you to stand,  HE is God and can easily carry all of your weight and problems. You and I just need to trust Him with all of our heart and mind!

I was raised in a Christian home all of my life and I have learned throughout the years many things about the man who wrote that comforting chapter in Psalms, he was the Psalmist, the shepard boy, the mighty King David; I have often read about his ups and downs, his times of both self-reliance and reliance upon God,  and I have seen that he was never more weak than when he was trusting in his OWN strength and reasoning and ignoring GOD'S strength and plan!

I have recently been reminded of a faithful, trusting mother whose faith was whole- heartedly in her God! This lady really put into action, "letting go and letting God!" Let's talk about her for just a minute:

Jochebed's life was starting to crumble, at least this is how I would look at it if I were in her shoes!  I'm sure she felt anxious and doubtful as she realized the dreaded day was soon coming as she would have to "let go and let God!". I can't even imagine the anxiety I would feel if I were in her shoes! What I love most about her story is the trust she had in God & how HE transformed her worry into good, just as He tells us He will in Romans 8:28, "And we know that ALL things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose." When Moses’ mother, Jochebed, sent her three-month-old baby down the Nile River in a basket to save his life, she trusted somehow, someway that God would take care of Moses and protect him from the hands of Pharaoh, who had ordered all Hebrew baby boys to be murdered. By faith, when Jochebed let go of the basket carrying her sweet baby boy, she trusted God would save Moses from alligators, wild animals, Pharaoh’s "police", and the river itself;  she trusted God to comfort baby Moses, when she couldn’t. She just trusted!! We all know what happened next, not only did God bless Jochebed with the assurance that Moses had survived the river and was now in the care of Pharaoh’s daughter, but now Jochebed was given her baby back so she could nurse and care for him. WOW!!!   Most likely, Jochebed was able to see Moses’ first steps and also probably heard his first word and was even paid to do this! What a God and what a faith!

When trials come in my life, I can easily fall into the trap of leaning on my own understanding to solve my problems, doing what I think will improve my situation. When this happens, I'm no different than my 3 year old girl, Isabella who often tries to do things beyond her ability & assures me, “I can do it, mom!”. I've been in this mommy buisness long enough to know that I shouldn't go very far, because soon she'll be calling me for help,  "MOM!! I need YOU! I CAN'T DO THIS!!"  Our Heavenly Father does just the same, He watches us struggle, He gently offers His help, and stands by ready and willing to come to our aid!  Isaiah 41:10 says, "Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness." Why waste our time thinking we can do it alone?! We have the best help available!!

I am thankful He gently offered His help to me and then stood by waiting for this foolish girl to wake up and choose to trust HIM!  I would definitely still be living a life full of exhaustion & frustration, if HE wasn't so god to me and patient, might I add!! We can spare ourselves a lot of frustration and exhaustion if we like Jochebed, trust in the Lord without wavering right from the start! (I've always been a late learner!)  Some of the first verses I ever memorized as a young girl were, Proverbs 3:5-6, "Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths." I definielty had these verses memorized, but wasn't applying them to my life like I had been taught my whole life to do! When we actually do what these verses tell us, there is no telling the amazing work God will do in our situation! 

When discouraging circumstances, CHANGE, or problems occur in our lives, one of two things can happen.  1.Either we firmly believe God will somehow, some way work our circumstances out for good, or #2. We jump to conclusions and take matters into our own hands. It's not always easy to do #1 but you and I both know it's always the best! 

Please allow me to share 2 things I have learned through the CHANGE God has walked me and my family through in recent days. (Believe me, I am still learning and I have a lot more to learn!!!!!)

1.  Be positive & godly in your thinking. 

Would you look at your marriage problem as an opportunity instead of an impossible challenge? Would you look at the person trying to discourage you on your journey through life and love them instead of backbiting them with your tongue? God sees our response to people, problems, change, conflict, sickness, etc. How will YOU look at these situations in your life?! God says in Psalms 119:71, "It is good for me that I have been afflicted; that I might learn thy statutes."  In other words, I'm going to learn something from this that I didn't know, I am going to grow spiritually, I'll be able to help more people because of it, and through God's grace become more beneficial for HIS work! After all, didn't our Creator say, "It is good for me"?!! He said it, so it must be true!!

2. We MUST be careful with our RESPONSES and the WORDS we speak to others around us as we travel through CHANGE, people problems, difficulties, conflict, and afflictions, or else we may hurt others in the process, as well as shame our name, our husband's name, or God's name!

Proverbs 12:18 says, "There is that speaketh like the piercings of a sword: but the tongue of the wise is health." 

Ephesians 4:29, "Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers." 

Colossians 4:6, "Let your speech be alway with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man." 

Titus 2:8, "Sound speech, that cannot be condemned; that he that is of the contrary part may be ashamed, having no evil thing to say of you."

I cannot read enough verses on the tongue, because it is so easy to get trapped into using my tongue as a backbiting tongue, to see only the injustices and not the positive benefits that CHANGE, problems, and affliction can bring to my life.

Also, since we are traveling this life in an imperfect world, surrounded by imperfect people, we are going to be wounded by someone elses' tongue; people will hurt us, and when that happens, one of the best things we can do is quote scripture, many times throughout our day! Why?  Because the enemy is smart and  will use this hurt to make us look at the negative and in turn, we will end up having a victim mentality! (whoa  is me!) 

Psalms 51:10 and Psalms 143:8-10 are some amazing verses to quote in times like these! 

"Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me." 

"Cause me to hear thy lovingkindness in the morning; for in thee do I trust: cause me to know the way wherein I should walk; for I lift up my soul unto thee. Deliver me, O LORD, from mine enemies: I flee unto thee to hide me. Teach me to do thy will; for thou art my God: thy spirit is good; lead me into the land of uprightness." 

Let us use GRACE as we respond, instead of the easy, fleshly way--like a sword that will pierce and hurt. We CANNOT be carless in our speech, we MUST be on guard, we MUST be careful and we MUST be yielded to the HOLY SPIRT at all times. (I know it is easier said then done! I would have to say, not letting my emotions take over my words and responses have been one of the toughest things for me, and if there has been anything I have learned through this CHANGE, it is how dangerous my tongue can really be!!) I'm so very glad God is teaching me and molding me! Everyday and every second I need Him at work in my life, because I know I am so very weak when I am not trusting the One who deserves my trust the most! 

Proverbs 16:20 says, "He that handleth a matter wisely shall find good: and whoso trusteth in the LORD, happy is he."

So when that dreaded word, CHANGE, comes into our lives or when "matters" arise, let's TRUST Him through it, let's be positive & godly in our thinking, and be careful with our responses and the words we speak to others around us! Let's set our faces like a flint and get through life's changes and struggles with the Lord God on our side!  An amazing verse to memorize: Isaiah 50:7,  "For the Lord GOD will help me; therefore shall I not be confounded: therefore have I set my face like a flint, and I KNOW that I shall not be ashamed."

P.S. I am the happy Pastor's wife of Iglesia Bautista Casa de Gracia (House of Grace Baptist Church)! I'm in love with the life God has chosen for me and my family! I am grateful and humbled that He has chosen us to serve in the great city of CHICAGO!!!! I'm just moving along in God's grace and I wouldn't trade my life for anyone else's! 

God Bless each and everyone of you!

Ellie DeAnda