MIRROR, MIRROR ON THE WALL / Mrs Sylvia Wells

Mrs Sylvia Wells

Pastor's Wife

Parkside Baptist Church

Mesquite, TX

 

 

MIRROR, MIRROR ON THE WALL

 

Ps 139:14
“I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.”

Looking in the Mirror?  What do you do? 

1. For the Face:  Cleanser to Clean 
 We want our face to be clean before we put our make-up on.
 What about our spiritual being?
Salvation
Ps 51:10, “Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.”
 We need to be saved to be clean!
2 Cor 6:2, “(For he saith, I have heard thee in a time accepted, and in the day of salvation have I succoured thee: behold, now is the accepted time; behold, now is the day of salvation.)”
 The Bible tells us that NOW is the day of salvation.
 Before we can even begin to clean up our life spiritually we must be saved.
 We should ask Christ to come into our heart and save us.

2. Foundation - To Begin
 Usually we don’t just jump right into putting our make-up on without putting on the foundation.  Some ladies will wear the foundation even without the rest, but they do put on the foundation.
 What kind of foundation should a Christian have?
 Okay, we are all grown up.  Can we change the way we were reared?  No, of course not.  This is not necessarily the foundation I am speaking of.  What kind of foundation do we have every day. We can change our foundation for each day that we live.
If we get up in a grumpy mood…yes, we do that sometimes…we should get a good foundation by our...
 BIBLE READING 
Josh 1:8, “This book of the law shall not depart out of thy mouth; but thou shalt meditate therein day and night, that thou mayest observe to do according to all that is written therein: for then thou shalt make thy way prosperous, and then thou shalt have good success.”
 We should read the Bible daily.  Get up when that alarm clock goes off.  Don’t hit the snooze 5 times.  Get up in time to start your day off right.
 I have to get up before my family or I am in trouble.  I need to read my Bible before they get up or I will get involved with them and not take the time to do it.  Then the day has gone by without me taking the time to read my Bible.

 PRAYER
Ps 5:2-3, “Hearken unto the voice of my cry, my King, and my God: for unto thee will I pray. My voice shalt thou hear in the morning, O LORD; in the morning will I direct my prayer unto thee, and will look up.”
 We need to pray to God.  Yes, Bible reading is important, but many times we leave out the prayer time.  I don’t mean we don’t pray.  I mean we don’t take the time that we should in prayer.  If we were to be honest with ourselves and God we would all have to say that we don’t spend enough time in prayer.
 LEARN THE BIBLE
Ps 25:4-5, “Shew me thy ways, O LORD; teach me thy paths.  Lead me in thy truth, and teach me: for thou art the God of my salvation; on thee do I wait all the day.
God has it in His Word the way we should live.  We need to get in it and find out what He wants us to do.

3. Blush - To set a glow (our next step looking in the mirror)
Our countenance should show the joy we have.
Neh 8:10, “...for the joy of the LORD is your strength.”
Ps 43:5, “Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted within me? hope in God: for I shall yet praise him, who is the health of my countenance, and my God.”
“To the Oriental the countenance mirrors, even more than to us the character and feelings of the heart.” 
 Our countenance can do many things.  I think more than we realize.  
  You can complain with your countenance. 
  You can be excited by your countenance.
  You can be pleased with your countenance.
  You can be displeased with your countenance.
  You can correct with your countenance.
 You know, with having four children to grow up in the house they can read my face.  They know if I am displeased with something they have done without me saying a word.  
 Have you ever had someone come up to you and ask what was wrong? Yet you did not say anything.
 Our countenance should reveal to others WHOSE side we are on.

4. Lip Gloss or Lip Stick - 
 We don’t want to over do it.
 Use our mouths to tell others.
Matt 28:19, “Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost:”
 We have a mouth and we should use it for the right thing.  We are to be “prudent” -  Definition - To be practically wise; cautious; careful of the consequences of measures or actions.  Proverbs 31:26, "She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness."
 Gives good godly advice.  Not personal opinions but Bible answers.
 We should never gossip.  Boy, is this ever hard for the female.  We always want to tell, did you hear about so and so?  We try to put a spiritual twist on it.  We
will say you need to pray for so and so.  Her and her husband are not getting along.  They may even get a divorce.  Maybe all you heard was that they had had a disagreement about something.  
James 3:6, "And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity: so is the tongue among our members, that it defileth the body, and setteth on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire of hell."
 We all possess the ability to hurt someone or to destroy someone by this object.  Our tongue.  
 The language that we allow to come out of our mouth should be guarded.  I don’t want my children calling each other names.  It may not be curse words they are calling their brother or sister, but it is wrong.  
 We as adults use words that children should not be allowed to use, so why should we use them?
 My children have caught me calling a name to someone. You know when you are driving down the road and someone cuts you off or does something crazy like that.  What do we do?  We say stupid idiot.  Right?  But if one of my kids were to call someone that, they would have to pay the consequences.
 We need to bridle our tongue.
Ps 39:1, “I said, I will take heed to my ways, that I sin not with my tongue: I will keep my mouth with a bridle, while the wicked is before me.”

5. Eyes - Don’t take anything IN your eyes that would be harmful.
Ps 101:3, “I will set no wicked thing before mine eyes: I hate the work of them that turn aside; it shall not cleave to me.”
Ps 121:1-2, “I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help.  My help cometh from the LORD, which made heaven and earth.”
 What do we allow to go in our eye sockets?
 You know when checking out, the covers of these magazines that are out on the shelf at Wal-Mart and grocery stores, are not the things we should be allowing to go in our eyes.  I am surprised at the amount of flesh that they allow to be shown.  As my kids were growing up they would even make comment.  I remember one time my daughter was at the check out counter with me.  She reached up and was turning the magazines around, only to find out that the back cover was just as bad as the front.
 There are times that we don’t plan to see things but the world puts it out there for us to see.  We need to guard our eyes.
 Then there are times when we are alone and we want to watch that movie.  No one is looking.  No one will know.  
 GOD IS LOOKING!!!
 What kind of books do we read?  Yes, we can read books other than the Bible, but we don’t need to read these fantasy romance novels.   Your marriage is not going to be like that.  Remember these are just books.

6. Ears
Ps 5:1-2, “Give ear to my words, O LORD, consider my meditation.  Hearken unto the voice of my cry, my King, and my God: for unto thee will I pray.”
Matt 11:15, “He that hath ears to hear, let him hear.”
 What are we listening to?
 Earlier we mentioned about not speaking gossip.  I believe it is just as wrong to listen to it.  You say, “But I don’t repeat anything I hear.”    I say, what do you think about every time you see that person that was talked about?
 Don’t listen to negativity or criticism.  If others are coming to you with negative talk, you may want to reevaluate yourself.  Ask yourself, “Why are they coming to me?”  Don’t become a listening ear to the critic.
 What kind of music do you listen to?
Col 3:16, “Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord.”
 We need to listen to the right kind of talk and the right kind of music.  Just because something says Christian does not mean it is Christian.

 I could continue with the rest of us, by looking into a full-length mirror, our hair, our body, our hands, our feet, etc.   
 We need to be sure that we are looking at the mirror of the Word of God for our spiritual mirror to reveal the imperfections that we need to work on daily.  We cannot change them over night, but we should work on correcting them. 

Remember to Keep Christ in Christmas / Geri Jean Sanderson

 

Geri Jean Sanderson

Pastor's Wife

First Baptist Church

Troy, Illinois

 

 

Remember to Keep Christ in Christmas

 

How is your Countenance through the month of December?  Do you get stressed and forget to have fun, laugh, and smile?  I know my human heart gets stressed.  I need to Merrily Ask the Saviour to help me have a hopeful, praising, healthy countenance.  In Psalms 42:5, 11, and 43:5 three times God has to remind me....  "Why art thou cast down, O my soul?  and why art thou disquieted within me?  HOPE in God:  for I shall yet PRAISE him, who is the HEALTH of my COUNTENANCE, and my God."  ....  To be hopeful is to desire something.  To praise is to edify someone.  To have health is a  condition of well being in body and mind.  To have a good countenance you must smile.  This is something I am striving to do this Christmas.  Christmas begins with Christ!  and ends with Mas!  Where is the MAS in your Christmas?  Merrily Ask the Saviour!!!  1 John 3:22 "And whatsoever we ask, we receive of him, because we keep his commandments, and do those things that are pleasing in his sight."

Psalm 66:18 "If I regard (hold) iniquity (sin) in my heart, the Lord will not hear me."  John 16:24 "Hitherto have ye asked nothing in my name:  ask, and ye shall receive, that your joy may be full."

Things to help me:

1.  Have my time with God daily (coffee too)

2.  Listen to Godly Christmas Music

3.  Make a list of most important people to share presents with (make a budget and don't over spend)

4.  Make cookies and give them away

5.  Think about favorite things:  family, traditions, making memories, friends, church services, church activities, passing out tracts, fun food (coconut pie, pecan pie, ginger snaps, sugar cookies decorated with almond icing, all homemade of course) I'm a good Baptist!!!  Love my Christmas Sugar!!!  Mangers, decorated trees, lights, wreaths, snowmen, cards, programs, caroling, good Christmas movies, seeing who can have the best point on a candy cane, a lit fire place, hot cocoa with marshmallows....

This year Merrily Ask the Saviour to help you not be stressed with money, shopping, and all the busy activities.  Hope and Praise with a healthy Countenance.  Laugh, Smile, Have fun, and Make Joyful Christmas Memories with the Saviour's help.

 

 

"Merrily, Merrily, I say unto you Merrily, Merrily, message ever new;  He that believeth on the Son 'tis true, Hath everlasting life."  The song writer used Verily which means truly, but for Christmas you could have fun and sing "Merrily"

The Balancing Act / Mrs Kelly Gray

 

Mrs Kelly Gray

Pastor's Wife

Longview Baptist Temple

Longview, TX

 

The Balancing Act

By Kelly Gray 

Life in general is a balancing act.  When  you  throw in a husband, who is a pastoring, children, married kids, a special needs son,  grandkids,  a job,  elderly parents, and then the ministry it is definitely a daily challenge.  

I could describe it as a roller coaster.  You get on anticipating the worst and you have your ups and downs and then you finally get to the end and begin to breathe again.  Then it starts over again and over again and away you go! Wheeeeeeee!!!!!

I’ve been married 28 years and we enter the ministry 3 months after we married.  I wasn’t ready for that yet , but we knew that is what God wanted for us. We were in the youth ministry for 22 years and now  pastoring  for the past 6 years. We have learned pastoring is  definitely a balancing act.  It’s fresh and new everyday!   No day is the same.  New people, new problems, babies, graduations, birthday parties, hospital visits, hospice care, weddings, and funerals encompass our days.   

We had three children in that busy life and they all are in their 20’s now.  Our daughter DeAnna , 27 is married  to Josh Doyle our church Bus Director.  They also have two boys and a little girl Natalie , due to come before Christmas. Our youngest son  Jordan 21. stays busy with work,  Bible College and a long distance relationship.   Our Special Gift from God -R.G. is 24.  He  has had 24 surgeries as of  today.  He will always live with us and will need our caretaking.     So our lives are definitely a Balancing Act.   

I could give with 10 steps to a Balanced Life but anyone who knows me would know that is not even in my vocabulary and would probably be laughing through the whole article.     

The verse that has helped me to stay focus would have to be I Corinthians 15:58.   I have claimed it as my life verse for years.  The longer I serve the Lord the more I am reminded why I chose this verse, it says,  “Therefore, my beloved brethren, be ye stedfast,  unmoveable, , always abounding in the work of the Lord, forasmuch as ye know that your labour is not in vain in the Lord.”

1-Be Stedfast –dutifully firm and unwavering.  Be consist with your Christian life not wavering with every wind of doctrine, lifestyle even your dress standard.  I know I am an  example to  my husband, kids, grandkids and my siblings and even those in the church who may just see me on Sundays.  

2-Strive to be Unmoveable. Don't be affected by emotion or excitement with everything that is going on around you.  

3-Always Abound.  Be thankful for where God has brought you & keep serving the Lord.   

4-Remember your labor is not in Vain.  God is our ultimate reward.  Remember it is all for him. He should get the honor and glory for all we do for him.   

We lost a dear lady in our church this week to cancer just a couple years older than I. Hers sons went to school with our daughter and we share  many memories together.   We visited her often and just saw her in a hospice care center a couple days before she went to heaven.  We definitely have to balance our life in the ministry. I just got off the phone with a sweet wife who is sitting by her husband side the past couple months watching him have stroke after stroke and there is nothing else doctors can do for him.  She is waiting for him to go to heaven with no more suffering.  It would be easy to get so discourage with those losing loved ones,  but I know there is a better place and we have hope.  We also just had a wedding in our church last night for sweet young lady raised in our church with  a new home to start a family in.  We have to be able to balance those different stages of life and try and be there for those in need.   

We have a special needs sons who’s health is not good at this time.  Through the years we never know when we may end up in the hospital with him so I have had to balance things in my life. Realizing even when I needed to give up a Sunday school class because they need more than a teacher, they need someone who is faithful each and every week. There have been times through the years that I knew I couldn’t be there for them because of R.G.’s health so I would have to step aside. I wish I could say I have always done a good job but I have failed .  Still I have learned through the years.  We have had Family and great friends who will pick up where I can’t do what I need to do at times.   Being a wife is my #1 responsiblility I must make sure my husband is cared  for even though I have a full plate . He needs be feel that I am taking care of him and all he needs.   Also a pastors wife, a daughter, a mom and even anticipating the birth of our granddaughter this month, is all we have on our  plate right now.  Christmas parties and activity at the church also, our school, college is all a Balancing Act.  You have to realize what is the most important in your life and that you can try to be “Super Woman” but you can’t always do that.  Take care of yourself for those who need you most and realize the Lord is where you get your daily strengthen to make it through all he has for you. 

Psalms 138:7 Though I walk in the midst of trouble, thou wilt revive me: thou shall stretch forth thine hand against the wrath of mine enemies, and thy right hand shall save me.   

There is this story I use when I speak about our son R.G. it’s called “My trip to Holland”.  It just came to my mind and I guess you could this story for the ministryalso and how you may balance your life with a family and being in the ministry.  It’s a different place and you just make the best of it. 

~My Trip to Holland~

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability — to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand

it, to imagine how it would feel. It’s like this…

When you’re going to have a baby, it’s like planning a fabulous vacation trip to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans… the Coliseum, the Sistine Chapel, Gondolas. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It’s all very exciting. After several months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives.

You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, “Welcome to Holland!” “Holland?” you say. “What do you mean, Holland? I signed up for Italy. I’m supposed to be in Italy. All my life I’ve dreamed of going to Italy.” But there’s been a change in the flight plan. They’ve landed in Holland and there you must stay. The important thing is that they haven’t taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place full of pestilence, famine, and disease. It’s just a different place.

So, you must go out and buy new guidebooks. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met. It’s just a different place. It’s slower paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you’ve been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around. You begin to notice that Holland has windmills. Holland has tulips. And Holland even has Rembrandts. But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy, and they’re all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life you will say, ” Yes, that’s where I was supposed to go. That’s what I had planned.”

And the pain of that experience will never, ever, ever, go away. The loss of that dream is a very significant loss. But if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn’t get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things about Holland.

Take everyday and give it to the Lord ask him to use you to make others lives better and remember every opportunity God has allowed into your life just Balance it do the best you can to serve Him!

Are you a Poloroid or Etch A Sketch Christian? / Mrs Kay Souther

  

 Mrs Kay Souther

Pastor's Wife

Gateway Baptist Church

Blacksburg, VA

       I'm probably really showing my age here, but does anyone remember the Polaroid One-Step cameras? If you don't, take a minute to Google it, we'll wait...okay, now you get the picture! Hahaha...No pun intended. Anyway, the "Polaroids" of the old days were big and bulky and seemed to be a short-lived fad. The "one-step" style cameras are making a comeback now with a more sleek shape and are also available in several fashionable colors!
     Now what about an Etch-a-Sketch?? A classic toy that's been around for years, and made wildly popular once again, because of the highly rated Disney/Pixar Toy Story movies.  There are two white knobs on the front of the toy that can be turned clockwise or counter-clockwise, separately or simultaneously, and with these movements, pictures are created.
     Well, back to the Polaroid, you snap an image and the camera "spits" out a picture, but it's dark, there's nothing on it! Then you begin to shake the picture and slowly but surely, the image is revealed.  The Etch-a-Sketch is a different story...a simple bump or shake can be the ruination of hours of tedious work.
     So let's think about this, ladies. Both objects can accomplish nothing on their own; Secondly, they have to be placed into the hands of someone who knows how to use them for the object to be successfully operated; and lastly, at some point in time, both will be shaken.
      But let's look at what happens after that happens. I stated earlier, when the picture is shaken, a transformation occurs and a clear image is revealed. When the Etch-a-Sketch is shaken, hours of work can be lost in an instant. Ladies, which one are you?
     Hard times, financial hardships, temptation and other various heartaches ARE going to come our way.  These heartaches can shake us at our very core. Trials can attempt to destroy who we are, what we've been taught, what we believe and what the Lord has accomplished in our lives. For our faith to become strong, it HAS to be shaken! Ladies, we "wear so many hats" every single day of our lives and maintaining peace and strength during a "shaky time" can be challenging. Take heart! Be encouraged! Ladies, read and claim these two verses.
      Isaiah 26:3,4 promises "Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee. Trust ye in the Lord for ever; for in the Lord JEHOVAH is everlasting strength:"
Lord, thank You for Your promise of peace and strength. No matter what comes into our lives, please help us to keep our focus on You, and thank You for the promise of everlasting strength for us to be able to accomplish this through You. Amen.

Teaching Your Children To Work / Mrs Charity Brown

Mrs Charity Brown

Pastor's Wife

Marion Avenue Baptist Church

Washington, IA

 

 

TEACHING YOUR CHILDREN TO WORK: 

I've often heard my father in law, Dr. Larry Brown, make the statement 'I would rather my daughter marry a cussing or smoking man than to have her marry a lazy man!' Please don't misunderstand this comment - we are certainly not advocates of profanity or tobacco, in ANY way, shape nor form! :-) if you know us, you know that to be true! Yet I couldn't agree more with this comment! 

My husband has now pastored for over 4 yrs - a relatively short amount of time. But we have seen the  INCREDIBLE Value of having a great work ethic in people's lives on a weekly basis!! It is so refreshing and motivating to see the character and fortitude instilled in them to work hard, to love their work and to keep on working even when you don't 'feel like it.' Because it's quite apparent that if they have this kind of work ethic, that same character and discipline spills over into every area of their life! 

I recently read an article on this topic that changed my life. It was written by a lady I'm honored to call one of 'my closest friends.' She and her family attend our church. She is a homeschooling mother of ten children - several of whom are late teens/early 20's. Her children embody EVERYTHING that I would want my children to become! Their Christ-like spirit, their genuine passion for The Lord, their unselfish service to God and for others, their incredible work ethic, their love and respect for their parents and siblings...all these attributes that I see portrayed in their lives attest to the fact that their mother is quite an amazing wife and mother. Her children are certainly 'rising up to call her blessed' just like we read of the virtuous lady in Prov. 31. When ladies like this speak up on key issues of child-rearing, I can assure you that my ears perk up and I take notes!! Here is what I read that is motivating and inspiring me to teach my four little children to work!

 

What the Bible has to say about work: 

“It is good for a man that he bear the yoke in his youth.” Lamentations 3:27

“For even when we were with you, this we commanded you, that if any would not work, neither should he eat.”  II Thessalonians 3:10

“Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God.” I Corinthians 10:31

1. Teach your children when they are young.  Any child capable of dumping a basket of toys is certainly able to pick them up again.  Now some cheerful words and a parent’s  helping hand will do much to make your training more effective.  Buy a little broom and dustpan so your child can work beside you as you sweep the floor.  Most children love water-let them slosh as they rinse the dishes.  Setting the table and clearing the dishwasher are  great chores to teach your 3 or 4 year old that they must work before they eat. 
2. Be consistent in what you expect your children to do.   At our house, most of the boys started feeding the calves when they were about 6 years old.  Within months, I could see that this responsibility had a very positive effect. Having a chore that needs to be done twice a day at a specific time, rain or shine, cold or hot, whether we had guests or not, regardless of their desire to feed the calves by the appointed time, had a way of maturing them in all of life. This responsibility taught them that they could do a job in spite of their feelings. So you don’t live on a farm?  Then get creative-assign a child to prepare breakfast or dinner everyday, have them do a quick bathroom cleanup every morning before breakfast, run a paper route, or buy chickens or calves to feed.  Before we milked cows, we bought some calves and chickens for the sole purpose to provide work for our young children (6-7 yrs old).  We never actually kept good records but I am quite sure we lost money on these “projects” but that didn’t matter.  If need be, I would volunteer my children to mow an elderly person’s yard or remove the snow from their sidewalk for free just so they would have some work to do.  You could also turn your garage into a small mechanic shop or woodworking shop.  By all means, plant a garden!  This is an excellent way to teach your children the rewards of hard work.  
3. Teach them to work without pay.  We have never given our children an allowance.(GASP!) BTW, one of our sons just added his definition of an allowance-”Allowing your child to be lazy”.  And I didn’t even ask for that!!  We will not judge you if you give your children an allowance; this is simply the way we raised our 10 children.   So everyday chores such as cooking, laundry, cleaning, garden work, feeding calves, etc. were always done without pay.  We did, however; offer them additional work for a small or sometimes larger monetary reward.  At our house this might be loading out hogs (not for the faint at heart!), doing the early morning  milking (4:00 a.m.), trapping mice (what a nice relief for a mother who doesn’t enjoy living with mice or removing their dead bodies), painting a fence, doing an extraordinarily nasty cleaning job, digging thistles or dandelions, and more. 
4. Reward work.  While this may seem like a contradiction to the previous point, it isn’t. Actually, my children told me this is something that helped them learn to enjoy work.  On a hot, summer day I might tell them that I will set up the sprinkler after they weed and mulch the potatoes.  Or I will give them a list of garden chores to do on a Monday and Tuesday then take them swimming on Wednesday. We have also watched a movie while folding laundry or listened to a story on cd while making salsa or canning pears. Let them learn that there are rewards for a job well done. 
5. If they complain about not liking a job, be sure they know that the job will be their responsibility until they can do it cheerfully on a daily/weekly basis.  An example of that is Allison who used to dislike dusting in particular and cleaning in general.  In spite of her aversion to this chore, she was assigned weekly cleaning jobs which stayed the same for many years.  She will tell you that now she finds fulfillment in completing even difficult and some rather disagreeable jobs that she has encountered as an adult. We have had different jobs given to our younger children like clearing the dishwasher, taking out a bucket of scraps to the compost pile, and setting the table.  I have assured them that the chore will not be given to a younger sibling until they can consistently do it cheerfully.  Many times I have seen a 6 year old begin to find joy in a simple job which was done day after day.
6. Promise them that there will be many times in life that they will have to do something they don’t like to do. Does anyone need further explanation on this?
7. Remind them, when necessary, of the verse “He who eats must work”.  Be creative in how you apply this verse to real life situations.  A son told me that he thinks this was the first verse he learned!  I thought it was Psalm 23.  At the very least, you can make a child go without desert.

My desire is that your heart has been challenged and motivated by these seven points, just as I have been! It's not always easy, by any means, to do these things! But hey, who said being a mom is easy?! :-)  I hope you'll take these to heart and put them somewhere, if you have children, where they'll serve as a daily reminder of How we, as mothers, can instill a work ethic into our children! 

How I Keep Smiling! / Mrs Shannon Stiff

 

Shannon Stiff

Pastor's Wife

Lighthouse Baptist Church

Flint, MI

 

 

How I keep smiling after the trials I’ve been through!

 

My name is Shannon and I was raised in a Christian home.  My dad was a Pastor for over 30 years.  I have had a wonderful life, but there have been many trials that have come my way.  For example when I was newly married I got a call one evening that my brother and sister and sister in law had been in a major car accident.  We rushed over to my parents house and my sister said my mom and dad had rushed out to the scene when they heard the sirens so close to their house and upon arrival realized it was their son and daughter in the accident.  We waited for what seemed an eternity and then my mom and dad came home.  They said Stacey didn’t survive.  They watched as they pulled Stacey out of the car.  My dad had seen enough deer killed with their limp bodies that he knew Stacey was dead immediately when seeing her.  Stacey had just turned 14 years old.  My brother made it and he was very badly beat up and my sister in law had to be air lifted to a major hospital in another city.  She had many complications for years after.  She barely survived herself.  That accident was so tragic for our family.  It took my mom and dad many years to feel like they could smile again after that.  I remember crying everyday for six months after that accident. 

 

Then just a few years later  I was driving down Highway 5 and a lady who was high on Meth swerved over into my lane and hit me head on at 70 miles per hour.  My one and two year olds were in the car with me.   They were both in car seats, but my two year old broke her ankle and had a scratch on her liver.  My tough one year old was fine.   I on the other hand had a broken femur, fractured ribs and a collapsed lung.  They took me to a different hospital than my kids.  I was immediately knocked out when we crashed and I awoke to a nice neighbor calming my kids until the ambulances arrived.   On the way to the hospital I overheard EMT’s saying how they didn’t think I was going to make it.  I remembered having a peace in my heart that I was going to go to heaven.   Well, my dad gets the call that we have been in this accident and runs down to tell my husband about the accident.  They were both at the church working at the time.  They all rush to the car and go to both of the hospitals to see how we were doing.  I can’t even imagine what my mom and dad were thinking after already losing a child.  I was in intensive care for a week and in the hospital total for two weeks.  I had to learn to walk again.  I limped for six months after that and had to use a walker.  I was in my twenties.  How embarrassing!   We all recovered, but what an ordeal.

 

Then just about three years ago.  We heard the news that rocked me and my family’s world.  My dad had committed some sins throughout his ministry that caught up with him and he forfeited the ministry.  What a shock!  That  was the hardest thing me and my family has ever gone through.  So, I guess you could say that I have been through a lot. 

My goal has always been to keep a good attitude in everything!  I learned through all of this to lift my God up and Praise Him continuously!   Here are some things that have helped me get through  these tough times.

 

1.  I read my Bible and pray mostly everyday!  I say mostly everyday, because I am human and honest.  Hebrews 4:12  For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.

2.  I laugh as much as I possibly can! Proverbs 17:22  A merry heart doth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones.

3.  I realize God works everything out for our own good! Romans 8:28  And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are called according to his purpose.                                                       

4.  I praise God all throughout my day everyday!  Psalm 86:12 I will praise thee, O Lord my God, with all my heart: and I will glorify the name for evermore.

5. I choose to dwell on good things only and work on solutions to problems.  Phil. 4:8   Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

6.  I will not worry about problems and I will only pray about them.    Phil. 4:6  Be careful for nothing; but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made know unto God.   

         

I hope this helps someone who may be going through something tough right now.  The Lord will get you through it.  Remember God is our strength and refuge.  God loves you and I very much and wants to help us in our time of need!   Have a great day ladies!

Lady Bugs / Mrs Charissa Andrews

Mrs Charissa Andrews

Pastor's Wife

Amazing Grace Baptist Church

O'Fallon, MO

 

 

Lady Bugs

My family and I lived in West Virginia for several years and each fall we would be visited with swarms of lady bugs. One year in particular I remember the lady bugs came in droves. I would attempt to vacuum them up but they would let off this unpleasant odor when they were met with their fate. That was several years ago when I was a mommy to a 2 year old and two 1 year olds, we were in the process of moving across the country and my days were given to try to pack our home in boxes while my husband was at work. One morning I placed the 1 year olds in their little exersaucers and gave the 2 year old a box of his own so that he could “help me” in this endeavor. I went into the kitchen to begin my task. I wasn't working long before I heard, “eat the buggy, Daniel. They taste good!” I came to find that my oldest son was feeding the lady bugs to his brother. It wasn't so funny then, but it is a story we laugh about now.

Although those lady bugs were a nuisance, I believe there is a wonderful kind of lady bug. A lady B(eing) U(sed by) G(od). The longer I serve the Lord, the more I desire my life to be used by God. I want to use the letters in LADY BUG to look at 7 areas that will keep us usable.

I. L – Looks to the Lord for strength and emotional dependency.

Picture in your mind a storm that is raging on the open sea. It is dark as the storm rages on. The waves are crashing noisily. There on the rocks stands a light house. Even though the wind is howling and the water is violently slamming into the rocks, the light house is not wavering, it is not wilting. The light is still being sent out. No one is there cheering on the light house, no one is admiring it or praising it. The circumstances around the light house are dire – yet it stays strong. That doesn't happen by accident. The reason that the light house can stand strong during the worst storms is because it is grounded firmly on solid rocks. Sometimes we fall into the trap of trying to gain our strength from places other than the Lord. Perhaps our spouse, our children, a job, our girlfriends. God can certainly use our human relationships to bring us comfort and encouragement. However, if we are not careful we can place our roots, so to speak, in those earthly relationships. A L.A.D.Y. B.U.G understands that she must look to the Lord for her strength.

2. A – Adorned with an inner beauty.

I Peter 2:3-4 Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. This verse does not mean that God is against a lady looking nice. It does not mean that God is against a lady wearing jewelry or of keeping her hair clean and neat. But what this verse is telling us is that our outward appearance should not be the MOST beautiful thing about us. There should be something (Someone) that adorns us that causes the jewelry and lip gloss and cute little shoes to pale in comparison. Our culture places an extreme emphasis on the exterior of a person. Just take a look at the magazines in the check out aisle of your local store. It is in our faces. All. The. Time. I wonder what would change in our homes and in our churches if we spent the same amount of investment (financially and time wise) on our inner (wo)man as we do the outer. An inner beauty is powerful and can't be bought in a tube, a cream, or a size 6 shoe. A L.A.D.Y.B.U.G is adorned, she is decorated with an inner beauty that is a by product found only by being filled with God's Spirit.

3. D – Desires to make her home a special place.

Proverbs 31:27a She looketh well to the ways of her household...

A L.A.D.Y.B.U.G views the care of her home as a high calling. As a wife and mom, I desire for my home to be a safe place, a haven, an oases for my family. We can use our 5 senses to establish a home that will be welcoming. The following are some things that we do in our home.

Eyes (sight): Try to keep your home neat and clean. My boys hear me say often, “a place for everything and everything in it's place”. In our home it helps me to have a daily schedule. Everyone has an area they are responsible for. Make the upkeep of your home fun, offer rewards and incentives. Take time to decorate for the different holidays and seasons.

Ears (sound): Play Christ honoring music. We listen to several Christian radio stations easily with our phones. Sometimes just having the Bible playing creates a calmer atmosphere. Let your children HEAR you praise and brag on them to other people. Same thing with your spouse. Laugh. A lot. Let the sounds of your home be pleasant.

Nose (smell): Now I have to be candid. This is not always an easy one for me. I do live in a house with 5 guys. Last night, I set my oven on fire. Not. Even. Kidding. Some days I have to work extra hard to keep our home smelling inviting. I remember when we were house hunting. We had been looking for a few weeks and nothing just grabbed at us and said, “this is it...this is home”. Until we walked into our current house. There was much I loved about the house but looking back I think there was one thing that really made a difference. In the kitchen on the counter was a crock pot. Inside the crock pot a roast was cooking and it smelled. So. Good! It made us feel like we were home. Use candles, fresh flowers, the yummy smelling fabric softener when you can.

Tongue (taste): Learn your family's favorite tastes. Ask them. Try new things. Take the time to learn how to make new things. Make special treats to show those in your home that you love and care for them. I have one friend that allows each family member to pick a meal for that week. Every week when I go grocery shopping, one of my guys gets to pick our family treat for the week. It might be ice cream, soft pretzels, brownies, etc. A L.A.D.Y.B.U.G. Realizes that when she is cooking for her family, she is ministering. She is meeting a need. Don't do it grudgingly, take joy in it.

Touch: Hug often! Hold hands with your children and husband. Offer foot and back rubs. Set out soft blankets and fluffy pillows. At this time of year my husband does something that makes me feel very loved. When I go into my bathroom to get ready for bed, he will go into our room and turn on my heating pad. He will turn down the covers and stick the heating pad right where I sleep and cover it up again. Then when I go to climb into bed, I remove the heating pad and curl up feeling nice and toasty warm. As it gets colder, when my boys are showering I'll sneak in and grab their towels. I'll throw them in the dryer for about 10 or 15 minutes and when I think they're just about to hop out I'll replace the towel. It's something small but I want them to FEEL that they are loved. A L.A.D.Y.B.U.G knows that her first priority next to God is her home. Make it a special place, an inviting place.

4. Y – Yields her tongue to Christ.

I Timothy 5:13 And withal they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house; and not only idle, but tattlers also and busybodies, speaking things which they ought not.

Colossians 4:6 Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man.

A group of pastor's wives was asked this question: “What is one thing your ladies do that encourage you?” There were various answers but the one that I loved best was, “The one thing my ladies do that encourages me is that they are kind to each other”. YES! Somewhere along the line we bought into a lie that we have the right to say whatever we want, whenever we want, however we want and to whomever we want. I once heard a wise lady say, “Not everything you think, needs to be said, and if it DOES need to be said, it doesn't necessarily need to be said by you. A L.A.D.Y.B.U.G keeps her body under subjection and that includes her tongue.

5. B – Brings support and encouragement.

A L.A.D.Y.B.U.G looks for others to invest in. We will never encourage on accident. From the beginning of time God created women to be encouragers and supporters. I like to call them cheerladies. God has given me a few cheerladies in my life. And I try to find ladies that I can cheer along their paths as well. God has given us the ability to build up, to strengthen, support and encourage. God has put in ladies a natural desire to nurture and empathize. For several years we lived right in front of a large corn field. Without doubt, every harvest time we would get mice in our garage and sometimes they'd end up in the house. I hated them! I wanted them gone! So my husband bought these sticky traps. And sure enough the mice would get stuck right on them. When my husband pulled out the first of our captured creatures, I saw the little mouse and asked what he was going to do with it. He explained to me how he would end it's life. I suddenly became sad and felt empathy for the mouse. My husband laughed pretty hard. “Only a woman could be disgusted by a creature one day and then try to save it's life the next”. That came from a natural desire to empathize. Ladies, we deserve to treat and be treated with kindness from each other. A L.A.D.Y.B.U.G knows God has called her to a wonderful, rewarding role of support, encouragement and love. She knows it is a high calling and design of God.

6. U – Understands the joy of serving.

A L.A.D.Y.B.U.G realizes serving others is really leading others. She knows that she isn't “just raising kids”, she is rearing kings and queens that are fit for the Master's use. She wants to mirror Christ. Christ was a servant, He washed the feet of His followers. When you know God has put someone in your path that you could serve, instead of saying, “Well let me know if you need anything” try something like, “What can I do for you” or “How could I best be a blessing to you?”. A L.A.D.Y.B.U.G knows biblical leadership is servant leadership

7. G – Gains honor and favor.

Proverbs 31:28 and 31 Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her. Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all. Favor is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.

Ladies, may we always strive to be A LADY Being Used by God.