Laura Faulk
Pastor's Wife
First Baptist Church
Groton, MA
He is ALWAYS There
Recently I was listening to the song “He is There.” I love this song and when a song speaks to me, I tend to play it over and over. As I listened, (over and over), it got me thinking about God always being with us. I began to think of a few times in my Christian walk when I didn’t think God was near me. I couldn’t feel His presence. That can be a sad and confusing time but as I look back on those times, I am amazed all over again at how good our God is! I am not proud of the times when I doubted God’s presence, but I do love the fact that I can look back on those days and see the mighty hand of God working!
Have you ever experienced a time in your Christian life that you didn’t feel God’s presence? Did you think something was wrong? Did you think God had left you?
I remember 3 distinct times when I didn’t feel God’s presence. The first time was when my father was about to leave this earth and make his entrance into his new heavenly home. I had 3 siblings at the time but none of them could handle the situation, so I was left alone to remain strong for my father and my siblings. I remember sitting by my father’s hospital bed thinking, “I can’t even pray, why can’t I pray? I don’t even know what to say; I have no words. Where are you God?”
Whenever one of my friends from our church came to the hospital I would burst into tears as soon as they walked in the hospital room door.” What in the world is wrong with me,” I thought to myself each time? I had to be strong, and I certainly didn’t want my friends seeing me falling apart! Later, after the storm had calmed down and I thought back on those days I could see exactly that God was right there with me the entire time! I realized that God had sent those “angels” to me so that I could release some of my grief and sorrow so that I could remain strong for my family. Not only was God always with me during that time but He sent me His hugs and embraces in physical form. Even though I couldn’t utter a prayer, God knew exactly what I needed and how to help me! He never left me and was always at my side holding my right hand! “For I the LORD thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee.” Isaiah 41:13
You would have thought that I would have learned my lesson from that, but Satan does an excellent job of fooling our minds into making us believe we are useless and not important to God. My second experience involved a huge ministry crisis, or what I thought at the time was “a crisis.” I honestly had no idea how I would make it through this trial, and it was even worse for my husband. Neither one of us could encourage the other. At one point, my husband had to pull our car over to the side of the road as he sobbed uncontrollably. I had never ever seen my husband so much as shed a tear and yet here he was sobbing. I felt helpless, useless, and alone. Again, where was our God during this time? I had no idea how to pray let alone what to say. Our lives had just been crushed and how did we even begin to pick up the pieces and move on? God seemed so quiet to me during those days; however, He knew exactly what was going on and never left us alone!! He was always right where He said He would be – at our side and holding our right hands (Isaiah 41:13)!! Once again, after the storm calmed down, I was able to look back and see how God was with us every step of that journey and in the end brought us great victory!
My 3rd “huge” trial happened almost 5 years ago when my daughter was diagnosed with a terminal illness. It took many grueling months before getting the proper diagnosis and finding out that the only hope of a cure was a bone marrow transplant. None of our other children were 100% matches so we had to rely on the donor bank. In the meantime, she was getting worse and sometimes in the ER several times a week. This time, I tried again to pray, and I even tried to cry but couldn’t do either. Again, I was trying to remain strong for my daughter, her husband, and her two small children. I felt the weight was on me alone and I couldn’t see God or talk to God. I was afraid to voice my feelings to God (is that silly or what?). My husband and I even had a hard
time talking about it together. It was a trial we certainly didn’t want to face! My husband called a few local preachers and we all got together to have a prayer meeting for our daughter and claim God’s healing on her body. I felt all alone, as I sat on that pew that night crying through her favorite song “In Christ Alone” and the many prayers offered up in her behalf. God did not heal her in the way we wanted but a few weeks later we found out that He did have a donor ready who was an absolute perfect match in every possible way and in just a few short weeks, the process would begin. This time God had sent little “angels” to me in the form of my 4 and 2-year-old grandchildren! They stayed with us for a month while Shannon was in the hospital going through chemo, radiation, and the transplant. As I loved on those grandies, how could I not see the love that God was giving me through them? As I think back on those days, I see very clearly that God was hugging and loving me once again in physical form through those beautiful “angels.” Even though I didn’t understand it or felt like I deserved it, God had finally given me such a peace that even though I struggled at times to remain strong and even though my voice struggled with finding the words to pray, I KNEW that God was in control and that somehow (no matter the outcome of the transplant) everything would be okay! I felt totally helpless because this was one time in my child’s life that I couldn’t fix a problem for her. But I didn’t have to feel helpless because God would take care of her and all of us. God would be with us every step of the way! Even though I struggled with the words to pray, I knew that my God knew my heart and what I would pray if I could!! As I think back on those days, I realize that God had given me a peace and calm during that time that even today I am amazed. To make a longer story short, this May will mark 5 years since that transplant day and God did heal our daughter!!
I know that many of you have gone through much worse trials and scenarios than my examples. And perhaps you never felt alone and always had the words to pray. But God had to teach me about His omnipresence the hard way. I know that I will still encounter many times ahead where I find my walk with God rough and demanding and my faith tested to the breaking point. At times it might seem as though the doors of hope will slam shut and the odds will be against me. Perhaps there will be times in my life again when I don’t feel the presence of God, but I know He is still there! Praise the Lord that in each of these scenarios I saw that God will allow me to go through trials but He will never leave me alone!!
Some people falsely conclude that when they don’t feel God, He is gone. He has disappeared. Remember, He is there, even when you don’t feel Him. The Bible tells us in Hebrews, “… for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.” (13:5). It is during these times that we must walk by faith, not by feeling, because God has promised in His Word that He will be with us.
No matter how lonely or abandoned we feel, Jesus is always by our side. In Matthew 28:20 he said, “. . . and, lo, I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world. Amen.”
I could list many examples in the Bible of people who felt alone in their trials, but they never truly were. God was always with them as He promised! In those days when we feel utterly alone, downcast, and like nobody cares, remind yourself of God’s words and promises to us. Yes, often it’s easier said than done but He Is There! Remind yourself to walk by faith in God’s Word and not by sight and trust in God’s promise never to leave you or forsake you! Highlight these verses in your Bible and post them where you will see them often.
He Is There
When the trials you face turn into your darkest night,
And you're hoping in some way, the darkness will turn to light,
And you feel all alone and no one is there with you,
Never fear, my God is holding you.
He is there to comfort you,
When you feel your world is shifting.
He is there to hold you,
When everything is changing.
My Lord's still there.
Somedays I was so lost,
I just couldn't see him.
There were moments
I felt my heart would just give in,
But when you're through trying
And there's nothing left to do,
Never fear, my God is holding you.
He is there to comfort you,
When you feel your world is shifting.
He is there to hold you,
When everything is changing.
My Lord's still there.
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