Seeing Through the Storm / Mrs Brenda Cunningham

Mrs Brenda Cunningham

Lakeview Baptist Church

Lakeview, MI

“Seeing” through the Storm”

“To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion...that HE might be glorified.”  Isaiah 6:1-3
I would like to share a short bit of my family’s experience in the last 6 years, but mostly how God has wondrously been carrying me through; in hopes that there will be something here that God uses to encourage you in whatever storm you may be facing.
It was 2012. My husband, Darrell, had been diagnosed with Early Onset Alzheimer’s and Vascular Dementia combination. We had three children, two of which were still at home, with the third at college. I couldn’t believe that this was happening to my intelligent, caring husband at only 59 years old, turning him into a stranger to us. It shook us to our core. He lost his job and we had to care for him at home. Our daughter, Becca, came home from college and helped as much as she could, along with our then teenage sons, Isaac and Ian. The disease didn’t allow my husband’s mind to be able to realize that he had an issue. He thought he was perfectly fine. This made it very very difficult for anyone to help him. There were some very scary moments in especially the next three years following his diagnosis. This disease is different with everyone, but with my husband, it was like an octopus with each arm having a different personality, delusion or reaction, and you never knew which arm or when it would stretch out. It could come and go within minutes.
 If anyone is on a journey similar to this, please be encouraged that God will help you through. Also, If anyone reading this is going through a similar trial and needs someone to pray for you, I will be glad to add you to my prayer list!
These next points are basically part of my survival list, if you will, of how God is helping me to see through the storm on this journey, in faith, and sometimes just LET Him carry me.
The first list here is what God wants me to see, believe and remember. (Some of these are in reference form for you to look up) (please bear with the length of this and lack of grammatical, writing or punctuation skills on my part and read through for a special treat for you at the end, by the way) First,
I Needed to “See”:
1. That God still loves me. I needed to remind myself how true that is by fighting the devils’ doubts and strengthening my belief with the Word of God. There are so many Bible verses on God’s love that we can use. What are your favorites? One of mine is: Psalm 143:8 “Cause me to hear thy loving kindness in the morning; for in thee do I trust”, also Psalm 40:1.  A long time ago I started writing verses out on 3x5 cards. One time I searched for all the references to God’s love for us and wrote them on these cards.  Find whatever method helps you to search for, read and memorize the verses that you need. Oh how it helps to LET God show us His love and comfort.  I’m going to be transparent here. Some days, I was so drained emotionally, physically and mentally that all I could do was focus on one or more of these cards to get through the day, and hope the next day would be better. But I had to get right back at good devotions or my spirit would grow weak. My Pastor’s wife, Eileen Abberger, can’t stress enough to her ladies how we need to dig into God’s Word for what we need.
2. His comfort. If you have a loved one with this disease, or are grieving in any way, then you will need lots and lots of comfort from the Lord. Don’t feel guilty for asking Him, even if it feels like you are asking Him all the time sometimes. It’s ok! He loves to give you comfort through His Word! He is a great Comforter! He is a great encourager! He is strong and mighty! Psalms 94:19 “In the multitude of my thoughts within me thy comforts delight my soul. And: Psalm 119:50 “This is my comfort in my affliction: for thy Word hath quickened me.
3. That Jesus is near. That He hadn’t forsaken me. The well known verse, Hebrews 13:5.“I will never leave thee nor forsake thee”. Psalm 34:17-19 ...”the Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.

4. That God’s Word is still true. Psalm 119:11,18 & 105:  “Thy Word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against thee...Open thou mine eyes, that I may behold wondrous things out of thy law...Thy Word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path.
5. That Jesus really understands. Hebrews 12:2. Looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God. For consider Him that endured such contradiction of sinners against himself, lest ye be wearied and faint in your minds.”
6. To see others needs and hurts. At first, It seemed like I couldn’t focus beyond this “twilight zone” that I felt like I was in. I felt very alone and felt strangely distanced from my loved ones because no-one that I knew could relate to this. One day, while sitting in church, the Lord urged me to look around at everyone. He lovingly reminded me that all these dear folks had needs and heartaches, too. They needed my prayers just as much as I needed theirs. I was humbled and asked for God’s forgiveness and help to reach out beyond myself. There were also still lost souls that needed to hear the gospel message.    

                                                                                             
Whenever I follow the first list above, it gets me in gear for this next list:

The “Some Things I Needed to DO” list:

1. Thank and praise Jesus every day, no matter how I felt. How often do we hear this. It is so true. I can’t explain it, but every time I do this, it is a lot easier to trust the Lord and not let bitterness get a foothold throughout the day. I‘ll admit I didn’t do this every single day. There were times I was praising and thanking Him through tears and with a broken heart, and I didn’t always feel better right away, but God always brought something later to help me. Psalm100:4 Enter into His gates with thanksgiving, and into His courts with praise. Be thankful unto Him, and bless his name. Along with this verse, I usually sing this next song to God first thing upon awakening, “This is the day, this is the day that the Lord hath made, that the Lord hath made. I will rejoice, I will rejoice and be glad in it, and be glad in it....”. God gives us so many blessings that we don’t see if we don’t have a grateful heart. For those of you that have “God loves me” reminders, I do too. I need to look for them plus count the blessings I already have, when the devil tries to distract me with fear, uncertainty, hopelessness, etc. Maybe it’s an answered prayer for a loved one, seeing an uncle finally get saved after 40 years of prayer, loved ones telling me that they are praying for me, sighting something in nature, food and raiment, etc. etc. It takes practice to tune in quickly to thank Him when He’s trying to show me something. I’m still working on it and have a long way to go.
2. Make time with my Lord every day! Psalm 63 “O God, Thou art my God; early will I seek thee. My soul thirsteth for thee...” Seek Him. Psalm 27:8 “When thou saidst, seek ye my face; my heart said unto thee, thy face, Lord will I seek” Talk to Him always throughout the day. Devotions! Get my Bible out, ask God to show me what He wants me to “see” as I read it. Seek Him and know Him through His Word. Make a long list of His character and read it to Him. “God, you are Amazing, Forgiving, Merciful, Kind, Strong, My Redeemer, Patient, Near Me, etc. and etc. Go on and on about Him. Get to know Him more by reading Bible portions in the first person about Himself. (There’s lots of these in Isaiah, 43:10-15, for example, and Psalms, Jeremiah and Jesus’ words about Himself in the four gospels). There is something comforting beyond words about reminding myself through the Bible of all the wonderful things God is, and that with how big He is, He still cares about us personally. There’s no one like Him!
3. Pray! Keep short sin accounts. Ask God’s Holy Spirit to reveal to me where I have displeased Him! I John 1:9 “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from ALL unrighteousness.” Ask God to remind me to pray for loved ones the moment I see them. Use a prayer list. Pray for the unsaved. Pray for those I’ve led to the Lord. Pray for whoever I’ve been able to slip a tract to the moment I walk away. This
world is not my home and in Heaven there will be no more I can do for Jesus here on earth. Praying for others distracts me from feeling sorry for myself.
4. Ask God to help me practice positive thought control. II Corinthians 10:5 “Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God; and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ.” Also read II Corinthians 10:4 and II Timothy 1:7. Professionals say that in order to ease panic attacks, one should ground herself (focus on what you can see, hear, touch, etc.) God has shown me that focusing on Bible verses relevant to each negative thought and devils attacks, GROUNDS me back to the truth.
5. Stay faithful in serving God at church. Because of my husband’s disease, he and I had to stop serving in a few areas at our church, God showed me the things I could continue to do and focus on those.
6. Let loved ones help. It’s sometimes difficult for me to ask for help. I had a group of loved ones who desperately wanted to help, but didn’t know how. Don’t be afraid to ask them. Sometimes it was just having a friend take me on an outing or one of Darrell’s friends watching him for me.
7. Set goals. “Psalm 27:13&14. “I had fainted, unless I had believed to see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait on the Lord; be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart; wait, I say, on the Lord. Ask God to show me how to glorify Him through this. Proverbs 4:26 and Psalm 32:8 are good also.
8. Take care of yourself. There were many times that I needed a break. My body would tell me by shutting itself and my mind down. Jesus got away into the wilderness. Take care of yourself, don’t feel guilty about it, then come back refreshed.
9. Have and keep a sense of humor. Proverbs 17:22  “A merry heart doeth good like a medicine.” If you don’t think you have one, find one! It’s fun and very refreshing. Darrell and I would often sit down and watch funny videos until we had a gut laugh. Have fun and laugh with loved ones.
10.Listen to music that tunes your heart to the Lord. Remember the saying, “music soothes the savage beast”? This is even more so with good Godly music. Having Darrell’s and myself favorite hymns and songs playing in our home did wonders for both of us.
11.Finally, Glorify God. God simply gets all the glory for everything, and that’s the way I want it! Galatians 6:14 “But God forbid that I should glory, save in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, by whom the world is crucified unto me, and I unto the world” and of course, Isaiah 61:3 above at the very beginning. ...”that HE might be glorified.” I am nothing and I have a long way to go in perfecting these things I need to do. But I am so grateful to Him for carrying my family through, for His many blessings and answered prayer, for everything! We can trust Him for our future.                                                                                                                                                 
On an end thought: I am a crazy creation lover! We live in the woods and I especially love bird watching. One day I saw a lovely female cardinal sitting on our deck railing in the freshly fallen snow. She was surrounded by this snow. It hid her food supply. But she needed to “see” that she needed to venture out to look for it. God promises to take care of tiny birds. How much more will he take care of us! I’ve had to “venture out” to find some of the blessings Jesus had for me all along!
I was able to get a video of this lady bird for you to enjoy, below. And for my fellow northerners (we were all so longing for Spring) please don’t hate me for showing more of that S..S...N..N......you know what!