Response or Reaction / Mrs Hannah Flaugher

Mrs Hannah Flaugher

Assistant Pastor's Wife

New Hope Baptist Church

Independence, MO

Response or Reaction

My hubby and I have been married for a wonderful 6 years, and 5 months. Before marriage, I often heard married ladies talk about how it takes time to learn each other: Dislikes, likes, habits, routines etc. Although, I never really put much thought into that, until after I was  well into our first couple months of marriage.  By nature, I am a really strong leader, and have trouble following. Even if I know it’s the best way. I’ve always been a strong leader, and have never enjoyed listening to someone “directing” me. I don’t want to start listing all my faults, but at the beginning of our marriage, I truly did struggle with submission, and following my hubby. I didn’t realize just how much it really was a problem, until my Dad heard me reacting with a snotty, rotten attitude to my husband, rather than responding with a submissive spirit. The Lord used my Dad that night to lovingly jerk a knot in my tail, regarding how I had been treating my husband. I SO needed that. My Dad explained to me that, when my husband asks me to do something, no matter how small I think it might be, my husband has trusted me with that task! I started thinking about the virtuous woman, and how her husband trusted her with different things. Proverbs 31:11 “The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.” It was such a wakeup call. I took that night as a kind of “starting over” point. I made it right with my heavenly Father, and then with my sweet hubby. I felt so refreshed, not having that tension between my hubby and I.  Submission is such an important piece to having a harmonious, God honoring marriage. (I Peter 3:1-5) (Eph. 5:22-33) Colossians 3:18 - Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord. The word “fit” means appropriate, right, proper. It’s what the Lord commands of us wives. It’s not a suggestion. Many times I have just wanted to burst out with all the reasons why I may not have done as he asked. As a young mother of 3, stay at home Mom, piano teacher, Assistant Pastors wife… I could very well just react and say, “Don’t you know I’ve been busy with our 3 kids all day?!? Don’t you realize I didn’t even get a shower today because the kids have been so crazy?! I’ve been doing my piano lessons all day, and I was just too tired! A very un-heartfelt, snarky Sorry! Those are excuses that would fit into my current station in life, but, if you try, I’m sure you can think of some excuses that would fit you. I understand, things happen, and things slip our minds. But, if that does happen, and your hubby comes to you upset about the situation, a soft answer, wrapped with a submissive spirit, can so quickly change the distressed heart of your hubby. I want to be part of a marriage that is full of joy, happiness, love, rest… Not a marriage that is packed with feelings of tension, bitterness, animosity.  I so want the blessing of the Lord on our marriage. I want to have a marriage that our children can look back at, and remember that God was honored. There are so many different parts to submission. This is the part that the Lord has been speaking to me about this past week.