Pressure Cooker / Mrs Vicky Mutchler

Mrs Vicky Mutchler

Pastor's Wife

Grandview Baptist Church

Beavercreek, OR

Pressure Cooker!

Remember the pressure cooker? AKA Instant Pot!

Perhaps you still use one today. I remember my mom using one to cook pinto beans or boil potatoes of course because it would cook things faster. I remember her telling a story of when she was a child and her dad had decided to cook something in the pressure cooker. He could not find the little valve that sits on the top to regulate the pressure so he decided once it got started he would just stick a pencil in there! Of course you know where the story is headed… Once the pressure built up and the valve was not on there to regulate that PRESSURE ....the top blew off and food was all over the ceiling!

Dear pastors' wife...ever feel like you are living in a pressure cooker? We all know what the stresses of daily life can be like. Many today are finding themselves under stress ,and  pressures they never thought they would encounter. Financial relationship, job, health  & emotional stresses- one stress piles upon another. Add in your church ministries and yes, people... lots of them! The tensions of life may lead to breakdowns, a lack of peace, and a multitude of health problems.

Maybe you are in a battle for your health today. Or maybe you’re feeling the pressure of not getting anywhere in your life. You wonder why you aren’t at a different level of life… why you don’t seem to have any sense of direction… Whatever it is,feeling the pressure of life is something everyone has in common. But we cannot really avoid all the pressures – no matter how carefully we plan our day, unexpected things happen. Pressure is another word for stress, and what pressure does is squeeze out what’s inside .. like lumps of coal thrive under pressure to become precious . We need some pressure (not too much) to keep us going in life, to reach our potential, and to stop us from becoming stale. It is a refining....looking for the diamond!

Philippians 4:6 “ Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God." God wants us to bring every pressure or stress to Him in prayer. He will meet me at my level of understanding of what is happening, and gradually take me into a deeper relationship with Himself. And the more I release to Him, the more inner peace I experience.

Don’t forget that God will often give us people who can help – those special friends who can show us how to cope with support,a bit of laughter, someone to listen with their hearts ..big shoulders: those who genuinely care. We all need these kind of people. 

Talking about this puts PRESSURE out there so we can see the problem and put it in perspective.. And then, slowly....we can start to manage  our pressures. The reality is we must control the pressures, or they will control us.

I’m reminded of what Paul said in 2 Corinthians 4:8: " We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed…” Talk about pressure! 

Our loving God, has a personal concern for you,and He alone has the power and love to manage our life. He is ENOUGH! He is in control!

Pray Believing / Miss Katie Biddinger

Miss Katie Biddinger

First Grade Teacher / GVCA

Grandview Baptist Church

Beavercreek, OR

Pray Believing

It is amazing how God seems to come at you from every angle when there's something He wants to teach you.  How every message you hear seems to speak about it, how every verse that jumps out at you deals with the same issue, how you will be having random conversations with friends and the subject will come up, how even the banners hung up at the church are speaking directly to you about it.  Lately, the thing that God has been dealing with my heart about, and constantly been reminding me of, is the principle "Pray BELIEVING."  The Bible says, "Therefore I say unto you, What things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them."

I have been challenged that sometimes I am content with a lack of answers to prayer.  I pray, but when I don't get answers I just lackadaisically brush it off with a "well I guess it wasn't God's will."  Time and again in the Bible, God includes stories of people who persisted in their request, or who because of their FAITH had requests granted.

 I never understood why Jesus said "I have not found so great faith, no, not in Israel" when referring to a man's request and the details of his job description.  Recently, I heard it explained that this man came to Jesus saying, I have men under me, and when I tell them what to do or make a request, I expect it to be done.  He was approaching Jesus with the same expectation and confidence.  It finally made sense!  Hebrews 4:16 says, "Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need."  Jesus wants us to come to Him boldly!  To know Him and to seek His help and intervention in our every day lives EXPECTING that He will hear and answer.

Developing a consistent prayer life has always been a struggle for me, and I still have a long way to go and a lot more I could do...  But as I have begun to apply this principle to my prayer time with the Lord the last few months, I have been humbled and amazed already to see God answering my requests, from the simplest little things, to the more serious and complex needs, desires, and outcries of my heart.  Hebrews 11:6 says, "But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him."  I have been challenged to pray in FAITH, BELIEVING that God will answer, "for with God nothing shall be impossible."

Defeating Goliath / Mrs Victoria Costilla

Mrs Victoria Costilla

Law and Grace Ministries

Faith Baptist Church

Belleville, IL

Defeating Goliath

II Timothy 1:7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

Have you ever been confronted by a Goliath?  Such was my dilemma after our 2010 car accident.  Sadly, fear gripped my heart and, like a giant, dominated my life.  I would be a complete liar, if I told you I understood and lived II Timothy 1:7 at that time.  Actually, I lived quite the opposite!    

This April will mark 7 years, since some life-changing events took place in my heart.  You see, God had set aside an appointed time to meet with me.  He allowed my husband and me to be in a devastating car accident which severely fractured both of my arms in several places.  Graciously, His loving arms carried me through 4 ½ hours of reconstructive surgery plus months of intense physical therapy. I often joked with my physical therapist about our love/hate relationship. I loved seeing her, but I hated the exercises because they hurt!   I claimed the promise of Philippians 4:13, “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me”, and God nourished me and made the pain bearable.

During this time, I was seemingly on the mountain-top, experiencing Godgiven peace and comfort, in spite of the physical pain.  I wouldn’t trade those precious days for anything! But sadly, after physical therapy was over, I welcomed in fear and forsook my GOD (not out rightly but in my heart). 

 As some of you can attest, an injury after a car accident messes with your mind. Your mind keeps on re-playing the accident.  It’s actually a form of PTSD, and it possesses you!  You find yourself in a dark valley and your strength is depleted when you relive the trauma without giving it to the Lord.  It’s as if a giant has shoved you in the corner.  You’re plagued with panic and anxiety attacks.  Your prayer life is challenged like never before!  You read
God’s WORD but have a hard time grasping it, due to your fear(s).  If you’ve ever been here, I would strongly encourage you to seek help.  Don’t be like me, thinking, “I can do this, in my own strength.”  For years, I lived in constant fear thinking I had a good handle on my fear.  In reality, fear had a good handle on me!  

One day, I remember crying out to my GOD.  I reminded HIM, how afraid I’d become of being part of another car accident. I had grown to hating car rides.  I only tolerated cars when I was in the driver’s seat.  Seeing brake lights scared me to death and I felt paralyzed.  My anxiety made my whole family nervous; I was a mess!  But gently and kindly, The Lord started drawing me to HIM.  I could sense him tugging my heart, saying, “My Child, are you done? Don’t you think it’s time to stop trying to conquer this in your own strength? Will you trust me?”  At that very moment, surrendering this fear was all I could think of; all I could do was cry!       

Not too many days after my contrite prayer, our 11-year-old son had an acute pancreatitis attack and was transferred by ambulance from our local hospital to Children’s hospital in St Louis, and it didn’t matter if it was the morning St. Louis rush hour, he had to go immediately!  And so the battle of the mind began and it went something like this: I was fighting my way back to the mountain top.  And then, I saw him.   My made-up ‘Goliath’ was waiting.  He started throwing darts at me.  Silly me, I was just too afraid to move.  I froze! He said, “You will never be able to drive that car, you’re too afraid of another car accident.” The devil wanted me to re-play our car accident.  The panic and anxiety attacks haunted me, fear grabbed me.  This Goliath threatened my sound mind!  It was as if my mind had allowed the devil to twist II Timothy 1:7, to scare me!     

Goliath had become real! But it was then that I cried out to the LORD, and HE heard me!  The LORD drew me to HIMSELF and I knew I was safe in HIS strong arms.  My GOD prepared the sling! Then, the potent stone of the power of God’s word hit Goliath right in the forehead… and down went
Goliath!  Just to make sure he was really dead, his head was cut off.  It is finished!  And just like that, God removed that fear and gave me perfect peace!  I drove to St. Louis, and I didn’t look back.  Our son needed his momma and by God’s grace I was able to be there for him!          

Today, I’m reminded that GOD will never give us more than we can handle. God allows us to go through struggles so we can learn to trust HIM.  Likewise, God allows us to share testimonies that will bring honor and glory to HIM.  If you have valleys with Goliaths, He will do the same for you.

Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee (Isaiah 26:3) This verse right here will help in so many areas of our thinking!  What about you, is there a giant you’ve allowed to rule your mind?  I beg you, don’t try to take him down on your own.  Give that giant over to the LORD.  Only HE has the power to slay the giants and give us the victories!  Remember, God has not given us the spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

- Zac and Victoria Costilla are the directors of Law & Grace Ministries, of Faith Baptist Church, in Belleville, IL. They oversee chaplains to law enforcement and correctional officers, to prison and jail inmates, and a comprehensive ministry to returning citizens as they leave incarceration. Law & Grace Ministries also has a food pantry to minister to the local community.

Not Your "Cookie Cutter" Pastor's Wife / Mrs Cassandra McMurtry

Mrs Cassandra McMurtry

Pastor's Wife

Liberty Baptist Church

Rock Falls, IL

Not your ''Cookie Cutter'' Pastor's Wife       

                                                                            
     In 1981, a beautiful, squalling, stubborn, tiny girl was born to first time parents. Headstrong, competitive, and sassy, she took the world on by storm! By God's grace, her parents were saved when she was 1, and her life was drastically changed. She was raised in church, and at the tender age of 5 accepted the Lord as her Saviour. If you think I am going to end this short story by saying, "She grew in grace and matured into the perfect Proverbs 31 lady, married a godly man, rode off into the sunset, and became the perfect example of a pastor's wife that everyone looked up to and admired," well, then, you would be....Wrong.
     Have you ever seen Anne of Green Gables? You remember Anne- the spunky, outspoken, determined young heroine always getting into hilarious predicaments due to her personality and honesty. Take away the red hair, and you have me, Cassandra McMurtry, in a nutshell. Now, try to imagine Anne as a pastor's wife. Can you imagine all the scrapes she would have gotten herself into?
     My husband was an assistant pastor when we married at 20. After serving under his dad for over 10 yrs, we were called into church planting. For almost 6 years now, I have been a pastor's wife. But, I will warn you, I am not your typical, "cookie cutter" pastor's wife. And it took quite a long time for me to be ok with that. I want to be an encouragement to you pastor's wives who don't feel like you are "making the grade", or measuring up, or feel like a failure.
     Where did we get this flawed idea that Pastor's wives are perfect, sinless, and must always look a certain way, act a certain way, have a spotless house at all times, and be 125 pounds, with perfectly coiffed and styled hair? Not from the Bible. For about 10 yrs, I really struggled with fitting into a box. I just knew that if I read A, B, and C, I would act a certain way. I knew I could change my personality somehow. I could stuff all of my bluntness and honesty way down into myself, never to let it see the light of day, and become the meek and quiet woman that I knew was expected of me. I would smile at all the right times, I would laugh at all the right times, I would gaze adoringly at my husband at all the right times, I would have perfectly dressed and groomed children at all times, the house would be spotless at all times....I get exhausted thinking of my life back then. To be honest, (I mean, I can't help but be honest) I was miserable. When my husband planted our church, and I went from having the kids at the private school of our previous church to homeschooling them full time, I about lost my mind trying to keep up the facade. Then something clicked. What was I doing? Why was I reading all these books on being the perfect pastor's wife, and ignoring, "The Book"? Eagerly I dove into the Bible. I would see what the Bible had to say to pastor's wives!
     First of all, you won't even find the term "pastor's wife" in the Bible. The Bible admonishes the aged women to teach the younger women, and sure, that could go for a pastor's wife, but I get the impression those verses are to all older Christian women. There are many verses aimed towards women, and growing in grace and being a woman of virtue, but those are addressed to all women- be it a plumber's wife, electrician's wife, principal's wife, well, you get the idea! There is one verse for deacon's wives, which is in 1 Tim. 3:11. It says, Even so must their wives be grave, not slanderers, sober, faithful in all things. At different places in the Bible, all Christian women are instructed to be these things as well, so once again, this instruction could go for all Christian women. We also know the verses giving the requirements for a bishop, and how one is to rule over his own house well. I happened to marry a man who loves my spunkiness, who loves to 'debate' with me, and loves that I am honest and blunt. So for us, it works. (Yes, I found my Gilbert.) If you are that way, and your husband doesn't like it, well, that's for a different devotional.
     I searched high and low in the Bible for "pastor's wife" advice. And..... I didn't find much. Remember how I said that that phrase isn't even in the Bible? I did find some gems that really spoke to me, though.
Psalms 139 :13-14a For thou hast possessed my reins: thou hast covered me in my mother's womb. I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made...
Jeremiah 1:5a Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee..
Job 31:15 Did not he that made me in the womb make him? and did not one fashion us in the womb?
     Over and over I found verses about God forming us, God molding us, God knowing us before we were even born. And God started to speak to me. God doesn't make mistakes when he is forming us in our mother's womb! He doesn't say, "Hmmm, I know this one is going to be a pastor's wife, so let's make her naturally meek, very quiet, a perfect hostess, and elegant to top everything off!" Um, no. God equips us with exactly what we are going to need in our life. I've been through some rough patches in my life. So God granted me with a strong will. Having that strong will has enabled me to keep going when things have gotten tough. It's given me courage to say no to wrong decisions I wanted to make. It's helped me stay on the straight and narrow path. God has blessed me, (or cursed, I haven't made up my mind yet) with the gift of complete honesty. I am bold, and I usually say the things that other people are thinking. But this gift has enabled me to open up to other people about my faith, and witness boldly, where other women would have a hard time. I am competitive by nature. Instead of rejecting that, I use it to push me to be better, whether it's a better pianist, piano teacher, mom, wife, housekeeper, Christian lady, soulwinner, whatever!
     After I concluded my study on "being the best pastor's wife ever", I came to the conclusion that my one and only job as a pastor's wife is the same as any other Christian lady's: to be the best helpmeet to my husband that I can be. He just happens to be the pastor. If he wants me to help teach Sunday School, then I'll teach it, to help him out. If he wants me to play piano, (which, of course, he does) I will gladly do it- to be the best helpmeet to him I can be. If he loves my spunkiness and boldness, why in the world would I try to stifle that?
     I tell our church people all the time, "Please do not put me on a pedestal. I don't belong up there, and if you put me on it, I will fall off." Do not call me the "First Lady" of our church. It's not a Biblical term, (it is a manmade term that was coined up for the President's wife, and for some reason, Baptists have accepted it as their own) and I'm not. To be called "First", means that you have arrived, that you are ahead of everyone else in this race called life. I haven't arrived. I am a work in progress. I am just married to the pastor. I am a Christian, just like all the other godly ladies attending church, striving to become better Christians. My house isn't clean all the time. I live in a 1300 sq ft house and homeschool 6 kids. That is an impossible expectation. I love having people over, but if you come over, my house will not be perfect! I often appear stressed out. Life is stressful! Sometimes I am a little too blunt and honest. I have learned to bite my tongue and show tact when needed, but if you don't want an honest answer, please don't ask me for the truth! I am only 36 years old, but I have been in the ministry 16 years now. One of the things I want to see end in my lifetime is the exaltation, and unrealistic expectations, that are placed on the pastor's wife. It's nowhere in the Bible. Are we Bible believers, or aren't we?
     The past 6 years have been the happiest of my life. I love learning under my husband, and I love growing with my church ladies. Once I learned to embrace the personality that God has given me, it brought such a liberty into my life, one that I had never experienced before. Don't get me wrong, I am always striving to be the Proverbs 31 woman. I always want to become more godly, more feminine, better at anything I put my hand to in life. But I am no longer trying to stuff myself into a box. God gave us all different gifts, abilities, and personalities for a reason. They all meld together perfectly in a church family! And if you feel like a failure, please don't. There is not a "cookie cutter" pastor's wife. There is just you, striving to become the Christian lady that God wants you to be. God knows our hearts, ladies. It's time to drop the facade and let the real you shine forth.